Tag: romance

On Reactions 

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Poor Mary. 

She showed up with a bright red nose and bags under her eyes. I thought she had been crying, but no. She’s developed a stuffed up nose and headache overnight. She says it’s an allergic reaction to his cologne, which he isn’t wearing today because she asked him not to and blamed it for her nose.

Dorian shook his head and told me to watch them. Her friend won’t let her sit with me, because they’re supposed to be spending time together. But anytime they go apart, suddenly Mary can breathe fine.

She’s not allergic to him. She’s having a psychosomatic reaction to his presence.

Which supposedly Dorian only knew because he had seen the same reaction in me when dealing with my father. Even if the man calls, I start sniffing, which actually has relatively little to do with the fact he almost always makes me cry.

So we’re headed to the falls together. Mary didn’t tell him we were coming. As far as he knows it’s just a weird coincidence that we showed up. Thankfully she texted me that bit of information before we met up. 

Her friend came out with, “well, the sea air will be good for you,” as we were boarding the bus. Cue three people stiffening and turning to him. Then Dorian made a sound like a cough and turned his back on us to ask the driver when he was leaving. 

Dorian went for a smoke, but I saw him giggling as he did so.

“What?” Mary asked.

“Sea air is good for breathing.”

“We’re nowhere near a coast!”

“The falls are salt water.”

“We’re nowhere near a coast. The only inland salt water in Canada is the St. Lawerence river.”

“Oh? You learn something new every day.” 

To which they both looked at me.

“Saltwater inland is kind of a big deal. I only really know of the St. Lawrence and the Dead Sea… maybe. That might not be inland. But as one who creates worlds, I do make a small effort to know how the real world works.”

“Aya…” Dorian called from the smoking area, because he heard the tone of my voice even if he couldn’t make out the words.

I muttered a curse and left the forlorn couple to go accept my first warning. But I could do with a distraction, might take my mind off the dreams I keep having that involve Nolan.

Day Four… or in Other Words:

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Please let me go back to writing, I’ll be good! I won’t complain about the hours, or the editing, or how I feel insecure about my stories, I promise. Just let me go back to work!

Not that I really complained about the hours before…

Today we were supposed to go to Niagara Falls, but we overslept. Oh well. It kind of worked out in the end because er, let’s call her Mary, from yesterday? Well, Mary is going to the falls tomorrow with her man-friend.

Mary’s text dripped of a silently begging question. “Please, save me,” it cried. It didn’t take much for Dorian to change our plans around. Tomorrow we’ll go to the falls with Mary and her friend, to help her get through the week.

Dorian’s pretty certain she’d be interested in kink. Given the questions she’s dared to ask, I’m not surprised that he thinks that. So the next munch that happens, he wants me to invite her to it.

Oh yeah, me at a munch. Such a good example, Dorian.

I am kinky, but I do not like being submissive at munches. A fact that Dorian loves to take advantage of. If ever there were a time for me to keep my mouth shut, a munch is probably one of them. Not because subs should be quiet, but because the swear words that come out of my mouth, and my promise to “flay your dick off if you look at me again, you piece of shit.” every time my phone notifies me of a text, are sure to make people avoid me.

I swear when I get nervous. I also put on a tone of voice and glower at the intended idiot. If Dorian wasn’t there, it’d be no problem, but he insists I speak. If I didn’t have to speak, I wouldn’t get in trouble because I’d sit quietly with a drink, muttering to invisible friends.

Despite being ‘homebound’ today, I was not allowed to write. Taking the full week off means taking the full week off. My only respite is writing blog posts, which I swear Dorian only lets me write so that he can go back later, read it over, and see if he can torment me about anything else.

Hence avoiding all things smut today.

Yesterday Dorian finished reading Contract Renewed after we got home. He had taken it as his reading material. Of course his first comment was that it wasn’t directed at him, so he didn’t get as swept up in it. Then he asked if he should tie me up and invite Nolan over. If we should re-enact a scene from Contract Broken because he was pretty certain I’d enjoy it.

You know, what with the dirty dream on Monday?

No, Dorian.

Bad, Dorian!

I don’t care what actually ended up happening in the scene. Nolan is way too interested in making certain he has my undivided attention. And just because I write about three people having sex with one another doesn’t mean that I want to have a threesome.

Part Two

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Dorian’s being mean to me!

We went through the zoo with the other couple and I now have her number. He was just visiting from out of town and we were right, it was an “I’m old and need to settle.” Dorian very quietly let her know that there’s an entire group of men she hasn’t explored yet. 

She had decided against this particular man the night before he arrived. She was talking to her mother about some odd behaviour and her mother informed her that her father behaved in a similar fashion.

Apparently not a father of the year, type of guy.

She was also told that times have changed and that that behaviour could simply be the same norm. But could she see herself happy? 

I guess her response was no. Not that I blame her. I find him entirely annoying.

To the point that I made a couple of smart assed comments and earned myself three strikes. As in, I came home in trouble because I couldn’t help but call him a stupid, narcissistic douchebag. 

In public.

What got me in trouble was that I said those things out loud in front of children. One of whom gasped and ran away shouting, “mommy, mommy, that lady is bad.”

He might be a little bit sadistic, but Dorian doesn’t appreciate even a frustrated curse in front of little ones.

So when we got home… we discovered Trixie had thrown my olive oil onto the floor. It’s in a glass bottle. Or was…

As punishment Dorian made me clean it up while he sat and watched. He knows how uncomfortable that makes me, but not all discipline involves a paddle.

On the way back, I started falling asleep on the train. Dreaming of fragmented worlds. Of male MCs trying to bait me into choosing their world. It’s a little terrifying because I wake up in a mood and Dorian can see it in my eyes.

He takes great pleasure in tormenting me. When he’s done, he asks what they did and then takes more pleasure in explaining how he’d do it instead.

I think he likes that I’ve started writing erotica and romance.

Control Isn’t Just for Kinksters

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Control is something that we all deal with every day. Manipulators always need to be in control, narcissists need the attention on them and draw it with control. Being out of control can send the most stable looking person flying off the handle. 

I am not a morning person. Dorian is.

That’s not to say that I don’t get moving in the mornings. I do. I’m just crabby, irritable, lippy, and sometimes my tone alone is enough to stop Dorian mid-sentence.

It’s something we’re still learning the boundaries of, and this is the first time we’ve spent multiple mornings together. Waking up in his arms is fabulous. Waking to him waking me is amazing. 

Having him stay up after I get out of bed… not so much.

Currently I’m sitting on a bus to get on a train to go to a Zoo. Dorian drives, I do not. While I would have been comfortable with him driving, he’s not so comfortable with taking so many long day trips in his old beat up car.

What, were you hoping my Sir drove a mustang or a sports car of some sort? 

He’s been joking about getting one as his next car to fill out his image. Luckily for me, he’s being sarcastic. 

So we’re taking buses and trains. They’re very clean, though, and comfortable.

What’s not comfortable for me is the couple who looks uncomfortable. Perhaps give her age, and the fact that the man told Dorian what that age was, she’s trying to make do with an old boyfriend. Looks like she needs to kick him to the curb. He’s loud, embarrassing her, questioning everything she says and…

He kind of smells like sulphur? 

Oh, a demon. I’ll have to write that down somewhere.

There are wafts of his aftershave coming over, like he’s trying to hide the sulphur with some kind of sexy smell but on him? On him it’s nothing more than a scent that is too strong. It doesn’t lend to anything on him, it wasn’t paired with his own musk. He probably picked it up because it had “dark” or “sex” in the name. 

…

Shoot. They’re on the train too. And going to the same place! Looks like we have suddenly because a foursome.

Which given Dorian’s look, I have to make certain I draw a line. The woman is pretty and seems annoyed by everything her male companion does. When he boasted about paying for everything, her eyes rolled and she repeated that she can pay for herself.

I think he’s tying to impress her and has obviously not done any research on the woman he’s trying to woo. He talks about a new game, she’s watching out the window with rapt attention. 

He wants control over someone but wants control under his terms. The thing with control is that they need to accept the control, which means that it has to suit the person you’re controlling. Just repeating things until they accept can work.

I’m getting the feeling it wouldn’t work on this woman. I get the feeling that if she was on the fence, which is how I’m guessing she got into this situation in the first place, she no longer is. It’s always a relief making that realization and coming to a decision.

But it’s uncomfortable making that decision  while in the middle of an event and having no way out of it. 

I’ll probably learn more throughout the day of this pair as he loudly announces something and she corrects him. Dorian is watching her the way he watches me when we’re out.

I’d be jealous, but I’ve seen him look at other women like that. It’s a similar look to Nolan’s evil plotting.

Except whatever ideas are running through Dorian’s head, are not evil. And I’m the subject of his thoughts, I’m the one who will… suffer… later on.

Dreams are the Stuff of Inspiration 

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Last night while in Dorian’s arms, I dreamed of Nolan.

That takes a back story. 

Nolan is Dorian’s friend from the BDSM community. He is a full on sadist, but he’s also an arrogant asshole.

He is oh so gorgeous though. You know how some erotica and romance authors will describe their male MC’s as painfully beautiful, or some other weird description like that?

Nolan is one of those guys. He’s attractive to the point where you just can’t look at him. Because you can see it in his eyes as yours lock with his. He knows he’s attractive enough to turn a woman on with a glance, he knows you’re attracted to him like most women are, and he’s wondering if you’re willing to risk a tumble with a sadist to see if the rumours of his sexual prowess are true.

My…method… of dealing with Nolan actually drives him nuts. I know he’s out of my league, but he also doesn’t like women ignoring him. He has to be the centre of attention at all times. 

He doesn’t often speak to women. We’re objects to him, I suppose. 

The types of women he draws in are model hot, lithe little things that are either masochistic or willing to be pushed to their limits because they heard that sex with him is painfully delightful.

In short, most women would do anything to be his toy for a night.

And last night I dreamed of him. We were at Dorian’s in the dream and he got called into work. So Nolan and I saw Dorian out and I went back in to lock up. Nolan followed me and halfway into the apartment physically picked me up and took me to bed.

He kissed, he teased, and then my mind kind of did a double take and I pushed him away as he tried to continue. My whole body told me to submit even as the words came out of my mouth.

“No, it’s not fair to Dorian.”

And I woke up as he smiled that odd smile of his. The little lopsided, completely evil, obviously plotting your slow, tortuous, orgasm smile of his.

So I woke Dorian up in a panic. I was still caught half asleep and didn’t even remember it until this morning when he reminded me. But apparently I confessed to having just been with Nolan moments before and how he had done everything and I was taken for a moment but only a moment. He patted my head and told me that if I saw Nolan again before morning, I should take advantage of his attention.

Oh Dorian, you are so cruel. Because I immediately fell into the same dream and went through my usual day and at the end of it, found myself somehow alone with Nolan once more. 

Who pinned me down and kissed me so that I couldn’t protest verbally. 

I woke with the desire to write. Dorian denied me that right, asking me about my dreams and then basically ignoring me. Well, not ignoring me so much as ignoring the predicament my body put me into. 

He likes to tease, but once every couple of months I get to explore being dominant. That day is today…

Why does Nolan matter, you might ask? Why do you care about a sadist who doesn’t even know he drove me crazy in my dreams? 

Because Nolan was… kind of… only slightly, the inspiration for Mr. Wrightworth. Of course Nolan is purely heterosexual and the base is very light. Very, very light. 

Like I would only say it goes as far as the two being sadistic. I just don’t think Mr. Wrightworth would have ended up a sadist if I hadn’t met Nolan beforehand.

For the longest time I’ve not touched on this because… well, Nolan’s a little scary in a hot sort of way.

Then when we met up with Nolan for coffee this morning, Dorian filled him in by starting with the dream and going from there. 

Because that‘s not embarrassing. 

Though someone had to explain that shade of red I went when Nolan sat down.

I’m never going to live this down.

Vacation

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Tomorrow starts my week off. Dorian is coming back, which is really exciting for me, but the prospect of no writing or work is driving me crazy. What do I do with all my free time? Just stare at the wall?

Do you know how bare my walls are?

The last time I really looked around was a couple of weeks ago, when I started building my office. Once the desk is together, I’ll move the laptop and TV in there. I don’t entertain much, the office is really an extension of my bedroom so… yeah. I keep sitting at the desk and filling out the planner a bit.

Recently I’ve been writing up information for D.o.t.A. Most of the plot is kind of written out already, so I can just refer to that when re-writing.

I feel like Rachel needs to either shut up or change her view a bit. Goddamn it, woman, you grew up in that world. It’s not a surprise!

Today I sat down to try to pound out a couple of possible titles. The ones that are sticking out are actually just the names. Rachel and Morgan.

Which actually kind of explains why the second book doesn’t seem to have Rachel there a whole lot. It’s all about what Morgan is doing, for which Rachel can’t see most of it.

I like the premise of this world built males being the betters and in control, but out of the public eye, the males are trying to bring back the females of their kind because they crave women who can kick their asses.

Enter Rachel, who’s father was in the military and taught all his daughters how to fight. And of course Rachel, who is bitter and cranky, with a bunch of righteous anger directed at the Alphas.

“She hit me. I’m bruised! I almost passed out. Only reason I didn’t was because she’s a leftie and couldn’t get the angle right with how I was holding her.”

“You’re the moron who left yourself wide open to an attack.”

“Only because women never hit us. Now I’m all confused, maybe it was the blow to my head.”

On Planning

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

My original plan was to set up preorders for the Contract trilogy three months apart. Of course, I’m being guided by Beth, who is a planner. She makes me research everything. Or… nearly everything. 

When it first came to the preorder she was completely on board with the idea. Three months would give me a ton of time to market and build a readership. 

But the other day she stumbled on a discussion between authors. One of them was in a situation similar to mine. A trilogy was at the ready and this person was debating between doing preorders or launching all three books at the same time.

The author was advised to launch the first immediately, then do a preorder for three weeks for the next, and three weeks for the one after. The idea is to drive readership. And this will help you start off strong. 

Except I’m not certain three weeks is enough. What if something comes up, what if I need to make an alteration to the second or third books? How is three weeks going to help me, as a new author, to build readership? 

I, of course, went to Beth with these questions. So she sat me down and we had a discussion of our own.

See, Beth views writing as a type of business. It is still a hobby for her, she is not making enough to live off of it, but she hopes to one day. 

The way you would treat a customer in retail is how you should treat your fans. Or, if you can, treat readers better than you would customers. Now, she works in retail so that imagery works very well for her, and I can see where she’s coming from.

Businesses who treat their customers well, do well. If you were going to buy a suit and the salesperson was rude, would you still buy the suit? Most cities have multiple fine clothing stores, you don’t have to be limited.

Most people would go to another store. The same is true for indie authors. You aren’t the only one writing stories like that.

Of course, I adore my readers so for me that part isn’t really a problem. 

The part that deflated my ego was the next bit: it takes five years to build a business and about a minute to destroy it.

Beth, when she first published, wasn’t even close to popular. After two years she’s finally seeing some traction, but has to take a break because she can’t afford editing costs at the moment. That means her… cloud? Is slowly going to get smaller unless she gets the next book written  and finds the money for editing. 

Being a new author, she told me, I need all the help I can get. That means that if three weeks will help me build my foundation, I need to swallow my pride and just do it.

It also would mean that I’d have two months or so before I was back where I am now. Growling about editing. In two months I could probably finish writing the Daughters of the Alphas trilogy. 

Or I could finish the first and finish its edits, putting it up for a three months and basically buying myself time to write and edit the second, then do the same to get to the third. If I really focus I could work another writing project in the background. 

Because I’m keeping up a free story somewhere, so it’s not entirely impossible. If I could get the freaking tablet cord, I could write at work and edit at home. Which is what I was doing before. 

On the Contract Renewed front, I discovered why I only had four chapters left when I swore I had five chapters worth of stuff. That was because in the first draft, I somehow created two Chapter Fourteens. 

Go me. I can’t believe I missed that in the first two reads. Checking that the chapters read appropriately is one of the first things I do before I start editing.

So now I have twenty-one chapters with the possibility of rewriting the introduction to be more of an introduction instead of just a short chapter. I can take the old introduction and probably mire it into Chapter One, I think.

Before I left the house today, I went through Chapter Seventeen (I think) and started Eighteen before I got listless. Had to get ready for work. It’s still possible that I’ll finish Eighteen tonight.

Who knows, with tomorrow off and only three chapters left, I could finish with Contract Renewed tomorrow.

*Enter Witty Title Here*

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Ah, the WordPress app. Beth suggested it while the tablet is having issues. You don’t even have to publish it, just put notes in a draft. I’ve tried all sorts of note programs and Office type programs but none of them really work. Or, if they do work, they don’t really make a file I can take to my laptop/tablet. 

Yesterday morning I edited a chapter. Then I did two blog posts first on the way to, then on the way from work. As soon as I got home I was on the phone with UPS because my package did turn up. 

Then I went back to editing and did another chapter, and another this morning.

UPS’S driver obviously entered the wrong city, which happens, I get that (and it turned up, so how could I complain?) And I was able to get answers and timely responses from them. 

I had, however, entered a ticket for my My Choice thing, because when I did the authorization apparently nothing took. I opened it under the tracking number for this package and was told to confirm I had entered it. I said yes and asked how I go about doing that again since obviously it didn’t work. And how would that work with Canada Post being weird? 

This morning the person responsible for the ticket responded with “I see your package was delivered to *wrong city* I hope you found our customer service helpful.” 

That wasn’t what this ticket was about.

With Canada Post being weird, I need to go through UPS to get hard copies of my books. The other service that runs starts with a ‘d’ and I can’t recall the name, but they suck. The drivers will not attempt delivery to apartment buildings. They drive up and idle for a bit, then leave claiming they were unable to make contact. As they did to me on four occasions for two different packages.

So my frustration at this dismal service does link into my writing. 

My local postman may mark something as delivered and then not deliver the notice for three days, but at least my package is safe at the local post office. It’s also about a third of the cost. 

I hope they resolve their issues soon. 

On the editing front, I’m now on chapter sixteen. I checked the word count today. I shouldn’t have.

Contract  Taken is about 87k words, Contract Broken is about 89k word. Currently Contract Renewed is sitting at 76k words. 

Going in, I knew it was shorter. When I started it was 66k words. I wrote its bare bones and knew that as I finished. The point was to get the skeleton out and to add the details later. Chapter fifteen was three pages of nothing but dialogue. It’s now five pages, but could probably be expanded on for physical reaction to emotion and stimulus. 

I definitely will need to do another go-through for editing and checking on that sort of thing. 

With four chapters left, I’m not even certain how I managed this because I swear there were two more chapters of sex and three more of other stuff. 

There’s definitely not enough sex. Of course I’m trying not to repeat too much, wouldn’t want to bore anyone. I think I’ve done well so far, but while I could easily add more, it’d probably be summed up by Izzy as, “a regular play session,” which kind of makes it sound boring. However, I’m concerned that if I go into details of a regular play session, the reader will find themselves bored because they’ve already had that.

I could add some suspension play, I know both of them are interested in that, but I have absolutely no experience with suspension. It’s something that Dorian isn’t interested in, let alone has the setup for, and I can’t play in public at all. 

I’d just start crying, like last time. 

It’s kind of funny how I’m very private about play (using an anonymous pen name to say I do play doesn’t count) yet I’m parading Izzy’s exploration of play before my readers. 

Once I go through the edit, I might ask Dorian for help. And I’ll be specific that I don’t mean seduce me for ‘inspiration’ purposes. He’s supposed to help me with Nathaniel’s trilogy as well. 

I know the male perspective of books can be well-received but Nathaniel isn’t like that. One book is about Izzy, I think. The other two are about before her. Everything that led up to his meeting her. 

I sound a little ramble-ly, I know. But doing a blog post helped me stay focused through the day yesterday, do I’m hoping it’ll help today as well.

Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Time

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

If I do no editing whatsoever, I could write all the ideas! But that won’t work… so what I’m thinking instead is finishing Contracted and getting it up and out of the way, then writing for about nine months straight.

Why nine months? 

Because I believe Amazon will let you do preordering three months out at the most. So once Taken goes live, I give it a week and start the preorder for Broken. 

And avoid all the reviews.

I’ve got a new idea kicking around for a world with vampires. I know, typical creature stories are overdone and after that, then what? Werewolf? 

I have a dislike of shifter stories, though.

While I’ve always sworn never to write a vampire story, my dislike of them boils down to the tropes. Like, if there be vampires, there must also be werewolves.

So I just play with the tropes I dislike. Such as having vampires argue the spelling of vampire, or upon being asked where the werewolves are, the MC is told this is the real world, not some romantic fantasy.

I’m also thinking about including excerpts at the end of the books. A sort of ‘coming soon’ but I’m not sure if I want proper excerpts or if I should have the MCs explaining their world to the reader. 

“In my world, genetically ‘superior’ humans are called Alphas. They spend their lives trying to outdo one another and accumulating wealth in the form of property, money, and companions. 

What’s a companion you ask? 

I am. 

We’re humans who carry what the Alphas call the G14 genetic marker. That specific sequence of genes means that under the right conditions we will break and form an everlasting bond with the one who breaks us, Alpha or human.

Women were once excluded from the selection and breaking process, but when the Alphas overthrew the government, everything changed. 

I’ve been caught, charged with a ridiculous crime, and they’ve decided it’s time to break me.

I won’t go down without a fight.” 

Seems to catch my attention more than trying to select am excerpt from the entire book. It also gives a look at the world, oh… it could be the description  of the book too! 

I may be spouting the stupidest idea ever. I need a sounding board. Being in a different genre and even writing in a different perspective, Beth isn’t much help for excerpt and description set up.

World creation, yes. Though she’s constantly asking me why my worlds are based around BDSM and domination. Guess that’s just my thing? 

Sweet romances don’t go over well. The last time I did something fluffy, everyone expected the characters to all be slaughtered at the end. Apparently I have a tell…

If I write something adorable, somebody’s going to get hurt.

So I’m trying to change that. It’s an amusing tell, though, so I’m still kind of debating whether I should just keep it. 

End a book in a trilogy with fluff and watch everyone cry…

An Author’s Bookclub

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

“Not what I want to read, not what I want to read, that’s another fucking shifter book. You know how uncomfortable shifter fiction makes me? It’s a step away from having sex with an animal.”

“I’m pretty certain they stay in man-form during sex.”

“It still makes me squeamish.”

“Okay, fine, don’t read it. What about that one?”

“The male MC mates the female MC by touching her? Wh… is that standard in their world? What the fuck?”

“My Gods, and I thought I was a picky reader. Look, if you’re going to be a jerk about your books—”

“I prefer the term specific reading requirements.”

“—and a whiney little bitch, then don’t read an indie book until you find the storyline you’re looking for. In the meantime, pick up some of the classics.”

“But they want fifteen to thirty dollars for those.”

“Not on Amazon, Gutenberg, and numerous other places. As long as it’s in the public domain you can get classic books for free in ebook or pdf form by knowing how to look for it.”

Beth has shown me how to find books to read. I grabbed about twenty of them while she helped, it was that easy, then I started doing the equivalent of running circles trying to figure out which to start with. So she suggested what she was reading, H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds.

It’s not that indie books aren’t good enough, but that I’m searching for something very specific in my romance area. Sci-fi on the other hand… Well, once I started looking at the classics I forgot all about sci-fi.

I feel a little better after finishing The War of the Worlds, but apparently not a hundred percent better. I’ve been picking away at the chapter all morning. Starting and stopping on and off. It’s a little frustrating, but at least it’s moving instead of just staying there, mocking me.

Beth refers to it as refueling, although she refuels by playing a simulation game while reading a book and watching television. I think she’s crazy, but at least she has something that works for her.

Then again, she’s also the one who babbles about book family trees, where every book can sort of be traced back to a ‘parent’ book that it’s very similar, if not outright based on (like 50 Shades and Twilight).

So I’ll keep reading as many books as I can while picking away at the chapter.

I haven’t had a chance to speak with my cover artist yet. She’s very busy, but when I see her, I’ll ask to proceed on the covers. Once the covers are done, I’ll begin the final stages of the pre-order for Contract Taken and move on from there.

I’m still not in a rush, I’d very much like to complete the whole trilogy before doing the first pre-order so that there’s no cliff or hang off point. Everything will link into one another and I won’t have to worry about the world again unless I decide to write another book for it.

Mm, books.

What are your favourite classic works?