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Contract Sealed is up for pre-order. I thought I was doing pretty good until I crashed directly after this happened.

I’ve been pretty stressed out about where my future income will come from. I had a choice between two employers who would have taken me (near as I can tell) and I chose the one that was the… well, employers aren’t supposed to be like that?

And, I applied for a position and didn’t get it. Then I applied for another one and I was waiting and waiting. During the wait, I got the pre-order for Contract Sealed up. But as soon as it was up I crashed.

Like, laying on my couch, covered in blankets, trying not to cry as my cats pawed at my face because I never do that.

Oh, and my boyfriend broke up with me. Chose a job over me which is only a couple hours away but I thought a couple hours and he thought way too far. It was one of those I like you but I don’t want a long-distance relationship. It’s not you, it’s me.

And three days later I tried to go back online and to the sites because I know how hard it is to find someone when you’re me.

A demisexual with a really dark past.

I think I’m just going to keep buying succulents and adopting cats. I think that’s just the end of my dating because I can’t do this anymore.

And that somehow got me to thinking about my writing. I’ve been at terms with being a demisexual on and off for years but coming more to it and it was sometime over this past week that I realized that’s why I love Mr. Wrightworth so much.

I think I made him hot. He is hot, right? Like, attractive? I can’t remember anymore, and my basis of attractive has always been skewed so I try to use descriptive words I’ve seen and heard about ‘hot’ people.

Anyhow, all that got me wanting to write more of the Contracted series, but I have to edit Contract Delivered first and I put that off in the hopes of being able to pop up and be like SURPRISE! Mars Red is going live in two weeks.

But this past week has had me so down that all I’ve done is stare at pictures of succulents, order seeds online (which probably won’t be processed for two months let alone shipped so no worries about moving a virus across the country), and obsessively brush and pet my oldest cat, Izzy.

Over the past couple of days I’ve come to realize that my female MC from Mars Red is some grey-ace or possibly demisexual herself. The other two were a lot more interested in their beaus. She’s just like “Oh look, Olympus Mons! Can we climb it, can we climb it? Pleeeeeassseee can we climb it?” meanwhile the other humans involved in the book are seeking sex from their adventure buddies, figuring that’s a part of the package.

So… I’m going to run with that line of thought. If it works out that way, then it’s just something for the grey-ace and demisexuals out there, and how many romance books are angled toward them?

Like, none, unless Contracted counts because, let’s face it, something about that keeps pulling me back.

Last night I finally heard about the position, was offered it, actually. I was very excited and very happy. I’m hoping this is a turning point. I haven’t been in an uncertain employment relationship in a long time. Sure, there were times I thought my old job would fire me, but at the end of the day that wouldn’t have happened short of showing up drunk and I wouldn’t have done that.

And there’s the possibility of being quarantined due to COVID-19. I have no health problems that would react to the virus, but I do live in a house with people who might be put at risk if I were to take ill, or if someone else was to bring it into the house. Also, my workplace is the such that everyone and anyone can afford trips. Cruises and trips down south, it’s like everyone’s on vacation, practically.

It’s also done with computers, so if we are quarantined, or self-quarantined, then we can work from home and I am so happy I have dual monitors at home. I would not want to do my job with one.

So, if I’m quarantined with work, then I’ll have work. If I’m quarantined without work, my hopeful plan is to write Mars Red. And if all else fails, let’s face it, I have so many artistic projects on the go, I’ve got enough to last me a couple of months. Not including my reading list.

Fun story, I had one roll of toilet paper left and had to go to two stores to find a pack. Then there was lots of what I can use with my system but nothing else (thank goodness) and I still got the weird “crazy lady” looks for buying one pack.

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