Tag: writing

It’s Not Fair!

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Sick, sinus and throat infection thanks to “obvious irritation of the mucosal linings” or something like that. I’m not supposed to be around most fragrances. It’s not necessarily that I’m allergic, so much that my body basically has a hissy fit when subjected to it for too long.

Thanks for the reminder, guy.

I can’t afford to be sick, I’ve got a book to write.

Instead of writing, I’m basically staring off at nothing because it’s left me with no energy whatsoever. It had started by Friday but didn’t really hit me until yesterday as I was trying to deal with a client who was wearing a regular amount of cologne.

I almost threw up, then got dizzy. Stupid body having a stupid tantrum.

Dorian has not gotten me wine, obviously I need to recover before wine or writing or any amount of fun happens. He’s also headed back to work, so I’m being a whiney ninny because I’m suffering alone.

If you don’t count Trixie, Grover, and my stuffies.

Yes, I am a grown woman in a relationship (gasp, I can say that now!) and I sleep with stuffies. Though I move them for Dorian. Stuffies are like body pillows for me, except more awesome.

And when you are feeling lonely, sad, and you’re all by yourself, you can cuddle them while you watch television.

I know Beth has stuffies, but she hides them if she has company coming over, which is about as ridiculous as could be. Of all the things an adult has to be “ashamed” of, an adorable, soft, stuffed animal is not one of them.

Because of the sickness, I’ve managed to arrange for tomorrow off, which will mean I work straight through to the weekend. But as of tonight, I can sleep until sometime late Wednesday morning. Sleep is a marvelous help when my body’s having a tantrum. It’s like a timeout, except the body enjoys it.

I’d rather be writing. Except when I tried to re-setup the second chapter, Rachel, the MC, got kind of drunk and started stumbling around before she collapsed. Which could be a side effect of writing first person, I don’t know for certain, as I’ve never tried writing first person while sick.

The new setup for the office/ “living room” is freaking amazing.

My old setup had me in one corner, but flat against the wall, with the TV er… kiddie corner? Diagonally across an entertainment center set against the wall.

The new setup, the TV is a little higher, which could become annoying. But it’s straight ahead of me. I just have to move the couch in. It’s actually pretty light (thanks Ikea) so I can do it myself, but I’ve been so freaking exhausted.

I also need to figure out a lighting system. The overhead lights shine directly on the TV and can’t be moved. Nice fixture, but if I want it and the TV on at the same time, I’m not really going to be able to watch TV. There’s also a lamp at the bedside, which is okay, but lends more of a twilight and sometimes I want a brighter light.

I’ll figure it out. But first, work a shift and then sleep a day and a half.

Prep Work

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Me: I need, like, a book to keep this all in.

Beth: So, you need something like a bible?

Me: Yeah, I need a world bible. Look at all this paperwork I have.

Beth: For two books, you have three sheets of paper. Oh, honey.

Me: Don’t ‘oh, honey’ me, like I’m being cute or something!

Dorian: *drops a book into my lap* That one is Beth’s bible for a world she dabbled in one time.

Beth: my favourite world has three books and multitudes of sheets for every time I jotted down random information. That doesn’t even include maps, since the face of the world changes so much.

Me: You mean, this is a thing?

Beth: Yes, it’s a thing. Dorian said you’re planning a masquerade, I’m guessing that’s for a book, since I didn’t receive an invitation?

Dorian and I went to Beth’s to help her set up her desk  While there I continued doing some work, filling out some odds and ends that I might never use in the story itself, but will probably mention at some point. Kind of need that information available, rather than searching for it in the middle of a scene and forgetting where I was, let alone where to find the information.

I can start writing around 2PM today. Why such an odd time? I don’t know, ask Dorian. That’s also about the time that my office gets finished, so that could have something to do with it.

He has promised me alcohol. Something I’ve not had in several weeks and have been craving all this week. Vacation and birthday are drink occasions.

Except when you get real depressed around your birthday and the last time you drank on the day, you ended up bawling your eyes out and drunk dialling your ex while sitting beside your current boyfriend.

Thankfully I had warned Dorian ahead of time, though he didn’t believe me until he had to take the phone from me and put me in bed.

All last night I was planning a masquerade. I’m getting pretty close to done, which is fantastic. The colour theme is white and gold, with trimmings of silver. I was going to go perverted with the servers, but I’ve decided to dress them all in white with Moretta masks.

A string quartet, canapes for food. White and red wine to drink, though the Alphas won’t necessarily be participating in the wine. There will be drugs and other alcohols available because it is an excess, kind of party thing going on. There’ll also be an after party which will probably degrade into an orgy.

Alphas are very sexualized beings. The way they claim things is to come on them, especially people. Beats urination, and apparently there’s this belief that if it stays still long enough for you to come on it, it must have submitted to your will.

Which gets really… tricky… when the females are born because they can’t exactly claim things like that.

I’ve now got the male and female pronouns written up, and the designations for last names. The Alphas take on a bit of a tradition that I heard the Welsh (maybe?) once used, altered of course. Where their ‘last name’ is their father’s (or mothers in the case of female alphas giving birth) with the designations Ap/Ep, Ad/Ed, Ab/Eb, Ag/Eg depending on their status.

Their companions also have the Ip, Id, Ig, Ib pronouns, but are attached to their alphas. There are even special titles for random alphas, though the only one that’s really still in use widely is ‘Da’ which is an alpha’s way of bowing to a stronger alpha and insinuating the alpha is his father, but not necessarily so. Not using the term is an invitation to a challenge.

And if challenged, one who is supposed to be given the title of Da will… you guessed it, come on the offender.

Fathers and sons never have this problem. If the son stops using Da, the father will put him in his place, but if the son wins typically the father is killed in the process. Sons were once forced out of the home and only returned to claim the territory after their fathers died but in modern times it was altered.

The research going into D.o.t.A is a lot different than what went into Contracted.

For Contracted, I did research some BDSM. Sure I participate, but I’m not an expert and wouldn’t claim that the story is perfectly researched, but I like how it’s turned out. For D.o.t.A. the research has mainly been for masquerade balls. The rest has been set up because this is a whole new world.

It might count as urban fantasy, considering it is in a similar world to ours but different all the same. Contracted was the same world, just about two hundred years in the future. So I could literally write using whatever bits I wanted to and any flaws in the law system, etc, could just be because it’s a new era.

Though, D.o.t.A. is a new era as well.

I ramble about my worlds sometimes. Especially when I can’t write them right at that moment.

When Left Alone

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Dorian had to go out last night to meet up with a friend who was having some troubles. His only comment on leaving me was that I wasn’t allowed to actually write.

I was tempted, I’ll admit—how would he ever know?—but instead ended up researching masquerade balls and as much attachment to that as I could. I now have two pages of notes for D.o.t.A. ranging from mask style choices, to plot notes. I now have a little more of a plan for the later half of the book.

Last night as I was falling asleep, Rachel came to me in the opening scene. I wouldn’t call her the most patient person in the world, she wants to get started now, not tomorrow. I still have to work out a few character bits with her and Morgan.

Rachel is basically an orphan in the opening scene. The plan at the moment is to have her father, the man who raised her, be the brother of the husband of the Master of the area. Yeah, confusing way to label it, but still. She’s not his biological daughter, because she and her sister were born of rape during a time of war between the government and the Alphas. Not “full” rape, but that’s what it’s called because the government impregnated thousands of women against their wills with various Alpha and common genetic material.

The Alpha of her area has taken her mother and older sister, breeding the older sister and breaking them both. He knows there’s something different about the family. For starters, her sister keeps trying to kill him when a broken companion isn’t supposed to be capable of that. The only way to control the one is to threaten the other, but never Rachel. Any mention of Rachel and both mother and sister just shut down and shut him out.

In the nights he hears them whispering to one another, “Rachel’s special, she needs to be whole.”

Now the Alpha is curious, he needs to know what Rachel is like. If her sister and mother bring him such…pleasure, what might the special Rachel bring? He’s trying to force Rachel to bow and do the same so he gets her on stupid charges and registers her as being property, because the laws allow that.

In walks Morgan, a young Alpha with no purpose in life who has never fully served or led in the Alpha world. By his age, he should have done one or the other. He’s the last of the War Brats, a group of child soldiers the Alphas trained and then released on the government forces.

He’s been to the territory before, so it’s possible he saw Rachel and just didn’t quite register her. Or he saw her sister and when the list of names popped up he had a sudden, unexplainable urge to go see what was going on. Morgan’s not just there for giggles, but because Alphas sometimes process information differently than common people and end up doing things that appear coincidental from the outside, but really aren’t.

Morgan’s father is dead, his er… step-father is driven by a need to claim the young Alpha who looks so much like his dead husband, he owes a blood debt to Abraham, is being challenged for Gerrid.

And to top it all off the only living female Alphas in three hundred years have decided to adopt Rachel as their sister. The females used to beat him up all the time because they liked him, but if he crosses a line over someone they’ve decided they like more than him, he won’t survive.

Is it Saturday night yet? Dorian said I could start writing Saturday night.

Vacation

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Tomorrow starts my week off. Dorian is coming back, which is really exciting for me, but the prospect of no writing or work is driving me crazy. What do I do with all my free time? Just stare at the wall?

Do you know how bare my walls are?

The last time I really looked around was a couple of weeks ago, when I started building my office. Once the desk is together, I’ll move the laptop and TV in there. I don’t entertain much, the office is really an extension of my bedroom so… yeah. I keep sitting at the desk and filling out the planner a bit.

Recently I’ve been writing up information for D.o.t.A. Most of the plot is kind of written out already, so I can just refer to that when re-writing.

I feel like Rachel needs to either shut up or change her view a bit. Goddamn it, woman, you grew up in that world. It’s not a surprise!

Today I sat down to try to pound out a couple of possible titles. The ones that are sticking out are actually just the names. Rachel and Morgan.

Which actually kind of explains why the second book doesn’t seem to have Rachel there a whole lot. It’s all about what Morgan is doing, for which Rachel can’t see most of it.

I like the premise of this world built males being the betters and in control, but out of the public eye, the males are trying to bring back the females of their kind because they crave women who can kick their asses.

Enter Rachel, who’s father was in the military and taught all his daughters how to fight. And of course Rachel, who is bitter and cranky, with a bunch of righteous anger directed at the Alphas.

“She hit me. I’m bruised! I almost passed out. Only reason I didn’t was because she’s a leftie and couldn’t get the angle right with how I was holding her.”

“You’re the moron who left yourself wide open to an attack.”

“Only because women never hit us. Now I’m all confused, maybe it was the blow to my head.”

Time Off is Important Too

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Beth and I try to make certain each of us takes time off. Even if it’s just a couple of hours. Back in February when I started setup,  Beth had been working two months straight. She had taken an hour here or there, but even while out, she was on and focused on her writing. 

It drove Dorian crazy. He likes all the attention focused on the conversation when he’s there. I swear Beth does it just to mess with him, but their friendship is like that. 

He pokes her, she pokes him. Like a big brother, little sister thing.

Anyhow, as of Saturday I’m off work for a week across my birthday. Thank goodness work was okay with that. I’m not exactly the most stable person on my birthday, which actually has little to do with getting older and more to do with having no family to rely on. 

An entire week, no writing. Whatever am I going to do with myself? 

I’ll be back to work July 31st, restarting a novel August 1st. Along with editing and combing through formatting on Taken and Broken.

I’m supposed to be walking all over next week. Exploring the city to keep myself busy. Dorian promises to keep me out of the apartment and busy the entire time (out of his apartment too,  we tried that last year and it didn’t work).

Exploring could be good for the creative flow. 

Everything Takes Longer Than Expected

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

When I talked to Dorian about my plan, he went ahead and told Beth that I was looking to set up a home office. Beth researched and did the math. How much it would cost to buy versus the frustration of building.

Apparently she had the same idea as me, probably for a while since she was the one who pointed out the free pallets to me.

We met up at the store Monday night. The lucky bum got a ride from work because she stayed late to help someone. We did kind of rush through the displays, because we both had a budget and the moment we walked in started oh-ing and ah-ing over the setups.

Then went back to my place where I polished off Contract Renewed some more and we both ate pizza. 

I’m not certain I’ll ever be happy with the book. But you should hear Beth go on about her published books never being good enough for any audience. 

I got my delivery early in the morning. Beth shortly after. I know because we texted each other. We get way too excited over new furniture.

The last three times I’ve had deliveries, it’s been the same team of guys. Very respectful, quick, and relatively clean. Just a little dusty because they’re moving dusty packages. 

When I opened the door there was no identifying marks and my first thought was, “shit.” Thankfully it was the delivery, but I whined at Beth about it.

An hour later I got a text, “You didn’t say the older one was drunk!”

Apparently we both had the same delivery guys. We proceeded to get in an argument because the company always calls afterwards to check and I was going to report it to the supervisor. So I ended up not hearing from her until she had put her desk together. It was the least expensive, while not looking like it was cheap, so we both got the same thing.

“How did you connect the desk top to the trestles?” 

“Dunno, just doing it now.”

We can’t figure it out. I contacted Dorian and he sighed and said he’d fix both desks when he got back. Just drilling some holes, but while I’m not great with measurements, if it’s off I’m going to go crazy. So I’ll leave it for the guy with a construction background. 

It took nine hours of work to paint the bookshelves. The paint remains tacky despite drying overnight. The air feels moist though, so that may be it. Even the thin first layer I did on the last piece of the second bookcase felt that way. The first piece of the first bookcase wasn’t tacky by the end of the nine hours so it must have to do with humidity.

Trixie: hopped onto the first piece, leaving paw prints all over it and the floor. Twice. I got non-toxic paint just in case. Surprisingly she let me put her on her back and wash her paws. 

She leapt onto the desk top, sitting on the trestles but not attached, and rolled all over the desktop. Claiming it as hers.

After I built the first bookshelf, she jumped onto it, almost taking it to the floor. It’s now attached to the wall. 

Jumped onto the drying side, leaving permanent kitty prints up it.

Used the trestles as an obstacle course. The trestles which are under a desk top not yet bolted down.

Used the boxes as toys, getting irritable when she couldn’t simply bat them around.

And finally, this morning attacked me when I had my mug in my hand, getting coffee on my new keyboard. 

I have an important meeting today at work. Thankfully the coffee missed me. 

It’s almost built though. Soon, I’ll have more space to work. The coffee mug will be to the side, where it never comes over the keyboard. 

And I’ll be able to get to work.

August 1st I’ll be restarting D.o.t.A. I still don’t have a title for the first one. I wish it were a simple matter. I know the full plot of the first one. I could do Cracked and Broken. As the first arc is at least two books. Or Self Discovery and maybe Self Destruction. 

I’ll have to really think on that. 

Spaces

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

I bought a planner yesterday to keep track of my hours and life, etc. This morning I tried to fill in some stuff while the laptop loaded. 

My work space is my couch. It’s a small L shaped couch about four feet across the back and four feet deep. I have a small table to the right of it which is taken up entirely by a table lamp. It’s also a high back/sided couch so I can’t exactly access the top of it. 

I’ve got two cats, Trixie and Grover. Trixie has been with me since February, when I adopted her from Kijiji. She’s been abandoned three times in her two years of life. So she has abandonment issues and every once in a while just loses her freaking mind.

Grover was with the same owner for sixteen years, then abandoned at Dorian’s complex in May when his owner moved suddenly. Dorian just happened to be walking by when the owner of the complex was cleaning out all the other abandoned items and asked after the cat.

I had been looking for a second cat to keep Trixie company as I had suspected there’d be a full-time position opening up. Just working part-time she had become very needy and I didn’t feel right about leaving her completely alone.

Anyhow. Grover sleeps a lot, but isn’t comfortable anywhere but right beside me. I suppose he too might have abandonment issues now.

Hey, we could start our own support group!

So he takes up one side of the couch. I can move him, but he sort of oozes back into place, which would include somehow getting into my lap, or on top of the laptop if I move him to set it down. 

The other two feet by four feet goes to me, my laptop, Trixie, and cushions. I can’t set anything down. Which sucks, really and I don’t feel is fair to Trixie. She can be quite comfortable laying on my right, but if she does I have no space to work.

This morning when I pulled out the planner, Trixie was having an episode of “you don’t love me, you’re going to abandon me,” so I was trying to accommodate her as Grover climbed onto the couch beside me, and I had the planner out and the laptop loading.

And trying to drink my morning coffee.

It occurred to me that I need more space. 

My apartment isn’t huge, but it also isn’t small. And I don’t have a lot of furniture. In the “bedroom” (it’s an open concept type of apartment) over half the room is empty. There’s a mantle and a fire place in the wall on one side, and my bed on the other.

I’ve been meaning to put my TV in on the mantle for months. Up where Trixie can’t knock it down again. I was going to move the whole couch in there, but same problem, different room.

I need a desk. 

I could build one, there’s a hardware store nearby who has pallets stacked outside free to take. My problem there being that I’m not very good at building things. I can do it, but it takes several attempts to make it work.

That option is free. My main concern really is the legs. How do I get the legs on that sucker to be even if I’m building them? I don’t have access to a saw or anything. Just a drill. 

Or I could buy a desk. So I looked at ikea because they tend to be the least expensive. They definitely have desks in my price range (awesome) but I don’t like how any of them look (*Enter expletive of choice here*).

As this is my first true home, ever, (please don’t ask) I’ve been particular about what I bring into it. 

Even if I can get two storage drawers, solid ones, I could get Dorian to help me cart away a couple of pallets, build the desktop itself, design it to my choice and then almost free desk! With storage! 

But I get the feeling I’ll have to buy it. Then save up for an all-in-one computer. I have the keyboard of my laptop to thank for that. Being able to sit back and write, instead of sitting forward a little hunched as Trixie ventures behind me, trying to ‘hunt’ Grover is distracting.  

Sitting properly last night, I managed to write quite a bit. Instead of leaning forward when I had a thought (because this is a rewrite, so it requires contemplation) I simply immediately started typing. Nothing was lost because I had to lean forward and find my keys, then struggle with a failing keyboard. 

When I told Beth, she was jealous. She does have the space, but hasn’t committed to the idea. She and I have birthdays near each other, so if I could get the almost free desk to work, I could just have Dorian split the ‘legs’ with me and have him deliver it. If I delivered it she’d kill me, but he’s twice her size. 

And they’ve known each other longer… I might just see about that. Storage ‘legs’ sort of like file cabinets but not. Wonder where I could find them? 

With the desk and a swap of furniture I could up my productivity even more! 

Which means I can write more, which I may crave more than air sometimes…

When it Rains, it Pours.

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Remember how I said Canada Post was going on strike and I wasn’t going to get anything from anyone else for my birthday? Well, I had bought something for myself and was quite happy that it would be waiting for me when I got home today, as I had to pay for UPS. A pay service of that cost wouldn’t make a mistake,  would they?

… except they delivered it to the wrong city. 

I double checked all the addresses on all the statements. Yes, it was mine. The only one not showing my address was the actual delivery notification. 

The sound of the customer service representative’s voice when I told him where it had been delivered had that quality of genuine surprise. Even as he asked me to confirm my address and I stopped at the postal code and he read it out to me. 

“I’m just going to connect you to the investigation division…” two minutes pass and I can hear the frustration in his voice, “I can’t seem to get ahold of them, they’re probably very busy.” 

I’m already thrumming with frustration myself. Not by his actions, not even by the ‘theft’ of my only present this year (Dorian and I have a strict no gifts rule, we spend time together instead) but from a need to beat out a world a little more. 

The need to write always brings an ache to my chest and my hands tingle. Just need to get a few words down, then I’ll be able to focus again. 

…Maybe. 

It’s not even necessarily vampires who are aggrivating me. I haven’t written in weeks, I’ve been stopped up and now the itch is coming back. 

Yesterday I forced myself to write a new chapter for Contract Renewed, maybe that was what opened the flood gates. I’m on chapter fourteen of twenty, still need to add ten thousand more words. I can do that, I know I can. 

I just want to move on. I love the trilogy, I do, but this is more time than I’ve spent on any one thing. 

Maybe writing the whole trilogy and then editing the whole is a bad idea, like Beth said. Sure, I get the consistency errors fixed, but at a cost to my productivity. If I had done them one at a time…

Well, with Contracted I wouldn’t have been satisfied with the outcome. Or I may have been for a few months, but then I’d want to rip it to shreds for missing just that one little thing.

With Daughters of the Alphas I may edit as I go. Write one book and mull on it. Place it up on preorder and dive into another world. And then another… and another. I can circle back around to whatever keeps my fancy, just so long as I get the worlds written and available before they get mired in the fog that is my brain. 

We’ll see. Who knows, I might write the first book and immediately want to start the second. 

How many books can I write in a year? Oh, now there’s a challenge I’d like to take up.

Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Time

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

If I do no editing whatsoever, I could write all the ideas! But that won’t work… so what I’m thinking instead is finishing Contracted and getting it up and out of the way, then writing for about nine months straight.

Why nine months? 

Because I believe Amazon will let you do preordering three months out at the most. So once Taken goes live, I give it a week and start the preorder for Broken. 

And avoid all the reviews.

I’ve got a new idea kicking around for a world with vampires. I know, typical creature stories are overdone and after that, then what? Werewolf? 

I have a dislike of shifter stories, though.

While I’ve always sworn never to write a vampire story, my dislike of them boils down to the tropes. Like, if there be vampires, there must also be werewolves.

So I just play with the tropes I dislike. Such as having vampires argue the spelling of vampire, or upon being asked where the werewolves are, the MC is told this is the real world, not some romantic fantasy.

I’m also thinking about including excerpts at the end of the books. A sort of ‘coming soon’ but I’m not sure if I want proper excerpts or if I should have the MCs explaining their world to the reader. 

“In my world, genetically ‘superior’ humans are called Alphas. They spend their lives trying to outdo one another and accumulating wealth in the form of property, money, and companions. 

What’s a companion you ask? 

I am. 

We’re humans who carry what the Alphas call the G14 genetic marker. That specific sequence of genes means that under the right conditions we will break and form an everlasting bond with the one who breaks us, Alpha or human.

Women were once excluded from the selection and breaking process, but when the Alphas overthrew the government, everything changed. 

I’ve been caught, charged with a ridiculous crime, and they’ve decided it’s time to break me.

I won’t go down without a fight.” 

Seems to catch my attention more than trying to select am excerpt from the entire book. It also gives a look at the world, oh… it could be the description  of the book too! 

I may be spouting the stupidest idea ever. I need a sounding board. Being in a different genre and even writing in a different perspective, Beth isn’t much help for excerpt and description set up.

World creation, yes. Though she’s constantly asking me why my worlds are based around BDSM and domination. Guess that’s just my thing? 

Sweet romances don’t go over well. The last time I did something fluffy, everyone expected the characters to all be slaughtered at the end. Apparently I have a tell…

If I write something adorable, somebody’s going to get hurt.

So I’m trying to change that. It’s an amusing tell, though, so I’m still kind of debating whether I should just keep it. 

End a book in a trilogy with fluff and watch everyone cry…

The Tech Problem

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

My tablet is working on and off. What it really is, is the plug in. I’ve got a Surface 2 and Microsoft decided that a little magnetic latch on thing with four dibbles that push into the charger head itself. There’s a shelf type of thing that these dibbles push back behind and one of my dibbles is caught behind that shelf.

Why must you complicate things? The more moving parts, the more likely it is to be damaged.

I’ve never messed with this charger, I’ve been very gentle with it. Mainly because I saw those dibbles and knew it could be a problem.

So I can’t charge my tablet.

The next one is going to be simpler to charge. Preferably with a little plug like what my phone, kindle, and mp3 player all use. It has a name, but I can’t recall it off the top of my head.

Then there’s the laptop problem.

I can write upwards of million words a year. I kept track of it one year. Not including emails, blogs, chats, social media updates and all the rest.

I’m very prolific.

So my laptop is four years old. In January the backspace button popped off. Yeah. I have to hit the little knob that once was the backspace button. The ctrl buttons work on and off, and somehow the spacebar still works. For now.

The problem with tech, therefore, is that without it, we can’t really write in the modern age. I couldn’t write as quickly as I do because my hand can’t write as fast as it can type. Let’s face it, I’ve never seen someone who can write sixty words a minute legibly. My head also works faster than my typing or my writing so by the time I’m finished typing, I typically have the next thing lined up and ready to go.

This all leads into what I use these items for. The tablet is for writing on the go and at work. While at work is when I really want to write (on my breaks, of course) but without the table there, I don’t get anything done.

By the time I come home I’m stuck in the mud because I couldn’t write all day, so I don’t get editing done.

At any time both of these machines could fail and I’d be unable to access my stories until I bought new ones. Which aren’t exactly cheap, especially for someone who just started working full-time.

Cue Beth saying, “If you start the pre-order you’d have more money. Sure, not for six months but that could be the bit that chooses between a netbook second-hand, or a full laptop brand new.”

I have a birthday coming up, I’d ask for money and then pool whatever I got to put that towards a second-hand laptop, but Canada Post is on lock down or strike or something. No cards or gifts or anything for me this year. Unless they miraculously come to an agreement but given the length of the whole thing that’s probably not going to happen.

Beth thinks I’m making excuses. She thinks I’ve got cold feet about sending my baby out into the world because the bad reviews will kill my ego.

Not because Beth assumes my book is bad. It’s a borderline erotica and it kept her attention. She’s actually a pickier reader than I am.

Every book gets bad reviews, that’s the nature of the beast. If a book has nothing but five-star reviews, it’s… it’s suspicious.

Would I want nothing but good reviews?

Yes.

But Beth’s received a few ‘meh’ reviews, nothing really disastrously rage filled and nasty, and her ego took a blow.

I suppose at the end of it all, this sums up to: Need new tech to keep writing, afraid to start the pre-launch of Contract Taken.