Author: Aya DeAniege

Just Keep Writing 

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Three weeks, I could not work. Which is now totalling about six weeks out of work. Driving me crazy, is what it is. 

Masked Intentions goes live in nine days and I don’t have the final draft up. Not because I have been lazy or because it needs more work, but because I haven’t been capable of work for six weeks. 

I think I had two days around Christmas before everything went to hell.

I haven’t been on social media or marketing or anything. My sales reflect that. And I can maintain that…

If I can work. 

So now I have to make that all a habit again. Get back to working on all the things.

The moment everything was fixed, I went back to writing. But I’m now six weeks behind on my plan. That really messes with everything. 

I couldn’t even write on my phone, so Death Mask isn’t written yet, it’s in a perpetual state of half-done chapter one. So I’m skipping ahead to chapter two and will return to chapter one later on. 

On the computer, I’m writing the Signed trilogy, which resides in the Contracted world. This is Nate’s story, so m/m and bdsm, and all that explosion of crazy. I completely blame Nate and his Master. They kept messing with me so I figured I’d start the world up again to torment them and it all just came spilling out. 

At Death’s Door will probably have to wait until March for release, so that I can do all the fixes that I was supposed to do over the last six weeks. It’s going to take longer because I can no longer remember what the fixes are. So now I need to read the entire thing before I can start edits so that I can get the bigger picture again and catch all the problems.

So annoying.

Because all I want to do is write. 

Sure, I could ship this work out to someone else, but that costs money I don’t have, and I’m not earning from the books themselves. In the last month I’ve only sold one book.

Probably because I couldn’t do anything or access anything or get my head to work. 

I’m on kdp select, and discovered that Contract Taken was up for free days. I’ve grabbed three and have moved a few free copies with the help of marketing and some from social media.

This morning the book was sitting at #9 on Amazon’s free-romance section. Suppose that’s good, but we’ll have to see how that goes.

A review blog somehow picked up my book and listed it. It’s weird because I don’t recall applying to them or anything of that sort. I’m not certain how I landed on that page, basically. They also made a “review” on Goodreads that was just the description.

I have no idea what their plan is, but I’m afraid to ask.

When everything was in the middle of breaking, Dorian did something stupid. He booked a trip to Cuba for the two of us at at five star resort.

I’ve never been to Cuba, and we all know I’m not comfortable being gifted expensive things. Hence why he’s stupid. 

I appreciate it, I will try my darndest to enjoy the trip, but accepting such a gift makes me uncomfortable. Even if I had purchased the ticket myself, I’d probably be uncomfortable. That’s money I could put into covers or marketing.

I’m starting to sound like Beth. While I’m not certain that’s a bad thing, it does sound a little crazy. If I had the money to go to Cuba, I should go to Cuba. Experience for an author is absolutely necessary.

Who knows, it could spawn a story. I could end up writing a best selling novel because I want to Cuba.

Oh, but think of the promotions I could have bought with that money… Bookbub and ENT and all the things. Such shiny things.

Suppose a beach and all inclusive resort stay will have to do. 

Getting Back to Work

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

So, Christmas Eve I went to Dorian’s. I have no family in the area, his parents went away for the holiday so his brother is coming over and we’re doing Christmas dinner at his place.

Beth is cooking (thank goodness).

The original plan was to have me cook…

I walked into Dorian’s place and the gifts were already under the tree, so I added mine to the pile. We went to bed, slept, and got up in the morning. Then we did stockings and breakfast per tradition. When it came time to open the presents, all went well.

Until Dorian pushed a suspiciously large box at me.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Open it.”

“Dorian…”

“Hm?”

“What is that?”

“Oh, wine, this should go in the fridge.”

“Dorian!”

“Open it, Darling, that’s an order.”

Fucker bought me a computer tower.

That was also when he announced that, instead of the plan he had set out beforehand, we were actually going to have dinner at my place instead of his. My place is closer to Beth’s (and she’s bringing the turkey) but I strongly suspect it had something to do with the setup and updating of my new tower, rather than actually making things easier for Beth.

What with the fact that Dorian has a vehicle and could have gone to pick her up and all.

We got the tower to my place and discovered that my monitor and the new tower won’t talk. Looks like I’m headed out, possibly tomorrow, to buy an adapter, but at least that’s all I need. A forty dollar item versus the eight hundred or so I was looking at to get a computer that was actually decent.

So I can get back to work. Probably not today, or tomorrow. Or even the next day…

Because I’m going to play video games. Relax a little, and try not to think about the workload that is now looming over me.

Computer Failure

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

My desktop, salvaged from Dorian’s brother during his upgrade, has utterly failed. I get a black screen that says there’s an error, it asks me to press enter. I do and I receive two options, start normally or repair. Going to either of those options takes me back to the first screen.

I’m not… but… if I always go back to the beginning how can I fix this?

So that’s sadness in a bottle for me.

That reduces me to a mobile phone, mind you a newer one, and an old tablet. The tablet has a keyboard attachment, but the problem with the keyboard is that it’s tiny.

This blog post is actually a test of the keyboard to see if I can work my head around it so that I can at least do writing while this all happens.

Relatives often send a few dollars for Christmas. I have some meagre funds that I’ve been scraping together as the start of a savings account. Come January, I believe I start receiving royalties from Contracted. Each little bit isn’t much, but I’m hoping all together it will be enough for me to even get one of those cheapos off Amazon.

Then I can keep working.

Which means until Christmas I cannot work.

Dorian looked at me, sighed, then tried to chastise me for not taking his money. He asked what I planned on doing now, just going back to the day job when writing made me so… (and he paused there, I know he did even though he denied it) happy?

I told him my plan, and to be off until Christmas.

His response was, “Oh. Nifty.”

Oh, Dorian, you’ve never seen me off writing and without access to computers and/or games.

Neither have I, now that I think about it.

So, over the next two to three weeks, all I can do is write. I have three stories on the go, because I was a stupid head and read up on the Oracle of Delphi (?) and then it just popped into my mind.

Yes, I called myself a stupid head, deal with it.

Signed – or Why I Hate How my Mind Works

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

I can no longer play games on my desktop, it’s that messed up. It was a free upgrade, and still works for things like editing and writing. Basically, my computer is forcing me to work when I wanted to play video games.

This time of year is high stress for me. I want to relax sometimes and just unwind by killing things in a wasteland, or lighting my dolls on fire. 

Instead, I opened Signed yesterday afternoon and started writing. The first chapter took six hours to write, the second two. I was up until almost two in the morning writing when I wanted to be playing a game and taking over the world.

I dreamed of Signed last night. 

This is a problem with me, and I know it is. Sometimes I get caught on tangents and can’t get off until it’s written out. The entire trilogy is acting like that.

All at once. 

I’ve had books overlap before, both playing out on repeat inside my head as I finish one and am going to start another, but never three. And certainly not from the beginning of the first book. Two chapters in, Nathaniel’s Master is tying him up in all kinds of places and doing all sorts to him. 

Half of it won’t even make it into the book, a line has to be drawn somewhere, damn it. 

More just keeps getting tossed onto the pile. And more. 

Then Dorian made a comment, because he’s expressed a desire to be there when I do research on these things. I suppose, so he knows what he’s getting himself into. 

“Why in male/male domination porn does one always where that little strap thing over their shoulders?”

If you saw it, you’d know the one he meant. It’s the kind of thing that might hold wings on for a Halloween costume, except made of leather.

At those words, Mr. Wrightworth popped into my head, grabbed a random male character, slapped one on him and grabbed it by the strap that runs between the shoulder blades. 

“Men typically don’t have hair to tangle a hand it, a grip on a shoulder does not give the control one needs. With this, however…”

Thanks for that thought, Mr. Wrightworth. 

“Aya, why do you have that look on your face?” Dorian asked.

I could only whimper in response. 

It is with great uneasiness that I head into work, worried about what might happen in my errant thoughts. I plot my stories at work. Most  of the time this isn’t a problem at all and all revolves around PG13 type of material. 

Smutt is left for the bus rides or at home. Work is the place to figure out how they say things and what the reaction would be to having breakfast taken away.

Nathaniel and his Master don’t seem to want to obey my rules though. They don’t react to threats to beat them, because they went into this knowing things were not going to go well for them.

So my uttering threats does absolutely nothing. I can’t threaten the other of them, holding one hostage because… I don’t even know why. 

I have two days off coming up. Without the ability to play games I only have one hope: a writing marathon to get as much of Signed written as I can before I go back to work.

That’s right, I’m aiming for a fifty thousand word weekend, if only to shut the pair of them up for a few hours.

Wish me luck.

“Don’t Quit Your Day Job”

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

The advice that authors (and artists) are given. Not always in that snotty tone that implies one’s craft sucks and should be given up on, but still. 

Authors and artists do not make it big. I’ve heard a lot of indie authors are funded by the bank of Spouse. Or parents. 

These are the same ones who always seem to be saying: “Just pay for marketing!”

Uhm, with what money? 

So I’ve been told several times that the best advice for an indie author is to not quit their day job. You know, so you can pay your bills and eat and access the Internet you probably need to publish your stories.

Then it’s keep writing. They say that like it’s difficult, but then get irritated when you ask what else. Like they’re hoping after the writing you just go back and struggle at it.

You may, writing may take you a great deal longer than it takes me. I’m classified as an exception to the rule. A full length book every month, or even in eight days, is highly unusual.

But what happens once you get that rhythm down, and you do keep writing? What if writing has never been the problem? Then what’s the advice?

It’s still: don’t quit your day job. 

Unless you’re writing a ten thousand word erotica a week, or more, for publication  and you have a name for yourself, you’re situated, chances are you aren’t going to be quitting your job any time soon.

Beth knows a bit about business and retail. Which is kind of interesting.

“It takes five years to build a business and about four seconds to fucking it up,” she says. “So, Aya, don’t quit your day job.”

Not because she thinks I’ll screw it up, though that is still a distinct possibility, but because she’s trying to look out for me.

My stories are a great deal darker than most I’ve come across. It takes a certain reader to enjoy them, and those readers are out there. Finding them, reaching them, takes a great deal of time.

How dark are my stories? I dunno, but the last time I had a fluff moment and shared it, the reaction was, “Oh God, you’re going to kill them both, light their dog on fire, and steal their house, aren’t you?”

For a fluff moment! 

I didn’t do that, just two weeks of hell, six months of recovery and then about and six more months of stress as they went through a trial.

My day job is paying my way, it’s going into my writing. I don’t get new clothing or expensive Christmas gifts. I cannot afford a new computer, or to go on vacation.

There is no sponsor for me. No Bank of Mom and Dad. Or of Dorian. I think the poor man being a muse is enough.

“You want me to what, with the what, now?”

“Be a little more sadistic, just for tonight.”

“Why?”

“I’m writing another BDSM trilogy.”

“Okay, but this time I want warning if you’re going to show up at my place and make demands while my parents are over.”

“You’re the one who didn’t tell me they were visiting.”

He is quite entertained, I think, by my new pursuits. It eats up my time so I don’t bother him.

But it all winds back to not quiting your day job.

Which is why I’m sitting on a fucking bus at 6am, having gotten up at 4am after working twelve hours yesterday to go back into work to fix the problems someone else caused and continues to cause.

The other option was to continue on as we were, but I was starting to get physically sick from the stress. 

I want to quit my day job.

Two full time jobs for most of the year aren’t really a problem. The past three months though have been terrible for my stress level. This isn’t the way it should be going, I shouldn’t need to alter my schedule to do this, but one bad apple and it’s absolute insanity. 

It’s not training, it’s simple not caring. I also don’t care to attempt to retrain someone who is resolutely refusing to even play nicely with the others and will be leaving us come January. Retraining simply takes far too much energy when you can’t spray a person in the face with a squirting bottle.

And… when you can’t actually say the word “bad.”

When I get this stressed, I like to write. To take my frustrations out on my characters. Which could be why my books have become exceedingly more dangerous for the main characters. Now I have the perfect setup, Nathaniel as slave to his Master, but I can’t write.

Because I had to alter my schedule and work longer hours because someone can’t be bothered to do more than the barest part of her job.

Suppose then, I have two pieces of advice. Don’t quit your day job, and do your day job. 

Though the last portion may be unwarranted as the amount of work necessary to be an indie author tends to mean that we work all day, every day. We are go getters and self-motivated achievers. 

At least writing this post on my commute has let me ignore how tired I am, and how desperately I want wine.

Christmas tradition, don’t drink between Halloween and Christmas. Don’t know how it started, but healthy for you! If you aren’t in a low stress job with a high stress coworker.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Okay. Now I’m really frustrated. 

Nathaniel’s story has changed, which is fine. That’s why I don’t start writing right away. 

The frustrating part is Angel is now put off and I’ve got another book to write before Morgan’s Story. There are not enough hours in my day around the day job for all the things I want to do.

The plus side of that is that I have several books sort of ready to go. I’m going to take the next couple of days or so and plot it all out in my writing app, which creates text based documents for me to transfer if necessary and very easily edit on any computer.

So. 

Nathaniel’s trilogy would be Contracted books 4-6. I swear that’s the end of the world there. Honestly. You can totally trust me when I say I won’t write another book for a world. I’ve never said that and added sixteen more stories, honestly.

Need a sarcasm font…

Contracted 4-6 would be my first published m/m and is very much M/s with BDSM. Anyone who has read Izzy’s Story would probably know that. This series covers Nathaniel and his Master. 

So it’d go:

Signed : Nathaniel and his Master. Not how they met. This begins at the portion where their M/s relationship begins and goes over how in the hell that went. If they could kindly stop throwing sex scenes at me without context, that’d be fabulous.

Sealed : how the community was set up and an introduction to the Sadists. Nathaniel played at being Sadist while still serving his Master. This could also involve the threesome that Nathaniel mentions in Contract Taken as the time line is about right.

Delivered : This may be a two parter (in one book) with the first half dealing with Nathaniel’s time during Contract Broken, including his lessons in there for someone, and the second part would either cover Contract Renewed or would come directly after it and explain a bit about Mr. Wrightworth. The man is never really mentioned “in the future” and it’s creeping me out. 

Since exploring this new trilogy, I’ve been assured that he’s alive and well, but what happens to him keeps changing. I swear my characters are fucking with me. 

One explanation was he landed in jail, another that he didn’t land in jail, he landed in jail bait (yes, that’s the way it was put to me) another that he retired to an island and yet another that he stepped down from the Program and started work as a Contractee representative, living mainly off investments but under a new name.

Make up your mind, you guys. 

He can’t be all of those things.

I think.

Publication Schedule

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Snagged the app for my new phone. I’m quite pleased with this thing.

Any who, with the app and data I can make blog posts again! 

I’m supposed to be writing Death Mask to finish that series off. I’m not certain that I can get the same effect from writing it on the computer as I can on my phone. It’s the focus that the phone draws in because I don’t have so many other things going on. 

My main problem with that at the moment is that my autocorrect is new, and not yet driven insane by my style. I’ll bring it around, though. Soon it will be writing full sentences and actually capitalizing after periods!

You’d think capitalization would come standard.

With Contract Broken launching today at midnight, it’s gotten me thinking about my publication schedule. 

I want to publish often, that was the point of writing a book a month. It’s always been the editing that catches me up. Another problem is that every once in a while, things just stop working. It happens, and it sucks.

The past two and a half months have been an example of that. I’ve written At Death’s Door but that was on my phone during commutes. I might as well have been reading the thing for the first time.

And that’s why I want to continue writing on my phone.

At the same time, nothing got done at home. stuff happens, you end up playing games because the words just don’t come.

So I don’t think I’m going to be able to maintain one book a month. Okay, that’s fine because that’s how that goes. Guess those are now the rules. 

I still want to launch as often as possible. At least I’m writing full novels and not ten thousand word snippets.

Oh, and then there are the snippets, starting to come to me and I may just give in and publish those too.

I like my day job, I’m just tired of getting up at 6am every day and being exhausted and walked all over for a job no one but me even cares about. I’d rather work part-time, and snippets are faster to write and edit.

I’m considering it, is all I’m saying. I definitely would not stop writing the novels. Me? Stop writing novel length works? Ha!

At this point the plan is: 

Masked Intentions – January

At Death’s Door – February

Morgan’s Story? – March

Death Mask – April

Maybe snippets throughout. Maybe Signed in between. 

Signed is a trilogy I’ve been debating writing. It’s basically Nathaniel’s story but is not a complete recounting. The first comes before Izzy, the second during the events of Contract Broken, and the third afterward. I’m just not certain yet if anyone would be interested. 

Oh, and maybe Angel in between or afterward.  I didn’t start it last night, so okay, let’s set this up for me.

I will start working on Angel on December 1st. December is the busiest month of the year for us at the day job, so I’m not expecting to write it in a month. There.

See?

There’s already that tingle down my spine and the whining voices of the muses at the back of my mind. This is what they get for not writing for two months. 

That’ll also give me more time to plan the series out. Which means I could be cast out to May, maybe June if I can get Cheating Death written. 

I was talking to at friend recently who knew I’d be getting into Romance publishing and she inquired so I told her about the next launch.

“Oh? Is that all? That doesn’t sound like you.”

“And another next month, editing one for January, planning the world of another, writing another, have one sitting for editing, oh and the side project.”

“That sounds like you! At least you’re publishing them instead of just writing them and then leaving them on drives laying about my house.”

“Is that like my telling you to stop tearing up your drawings?”

“Shut up, they’re terrible.”

“That’s totally why I’ve got them hanging on my wall.”

…

The long and the short of it is that I have plans for more launches and very soon. Well, soon in publishing. 

Beth publishes one or so books a year. I’ve got three this year and six planned next year. Different genres, though. Different authors too. 

Good luck to me, I feel like I’ll need it.

*Unitalisized titles are working titles.

Some Stories Need Time

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

No luck with NaNoWriMo or Prototype. I’ve almost got the first edit of Masked Intentions done and have begun to look for covers. So I’ve got that going for me, I guess.

Writing on my little phone caused hand and joint pain. Who knew that could happen?

Okay, I knew that could happen. But I figured thumb pain, not aching spiraling from the knuckle of my index finger causing generalized weakness and then fiery pain all up my arm. All because of how I was balancing the phone, oh, and a broken knuckle three years ago from an ex.

Death Mask has started over. I didn’t like how it was going. It felt slippery and bitter.

And is on my old phone. My new one is much larger. Well, larger than the little thing barely bigger than my fist. My new phone is on a different carrier, which offers actual data too, so I can go back to social media guilt free.

When I’m home it’s other stuff and more stuff and errands and Dorian forcing me to take breaks like the mean man he is, looking out for my well being, how dare he!

She says sarcastically.

I’m currently tossing angels around. Or I have been for a while. This set of books would be closer to Contracted on heat level. The others have sort of meandered away, and that’s okay.

With the angels I’ve been debating all over. First with which should be involved and then how the angel hierarchy might be set up and then on to what the female Mc is. I think I may have finally settled on telling the story of one Sam and Lily. Lily has a friend, whose name I don’t know yet but her friend is bad ass.

… and is Sam’s ex.

Sounds completely normal, right? What could possibly go wrong?

I mean, I’ve already written the ex ending the world out of jealousy, so it can’t happen twice, right?

What this story has really brought home for me is that sometimes stories need to wait to be told. A bit might be missing, you may not have that integral part of the plot that you need to come to you in a startling moment as your boss barks an order across the floor and you giggle instead of hopping to because someone ‘meeped’.

Yes, she meeped, she didn’t squeak or squawk. The sound that came out of her mouth was ‘meep’.

Maybe, just maybe, I can get back to writing now.

Book One Launch

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

I will not look at reviews, I will not look at reviews.

Not because I don’t appreciate them, but because there’s a massive fear of failure and at some point, some place, people are going to have bad things to say about erotica and romance, there are always negative reviews.

Which readers are entitled to make. And other readers are entitled to read and make a purchasing decision on.

Reviews are not for authors, therefore I will try not to read the reviews and try not to get wrapped up in them or take them personally.

I have Contract Taken in hard copy sitting on my desk. Beth warned me, so I had actually lightened the cover front and it still came out mauled by the printer. There’s a second copy coming, but given the number of hard copies I’ll probably sell, I’d be okay with the cover as is.

However, I opened it up and spotted straight quotes almost immediately. To which I was going to shake my laptop, but it’s now in storage so I couldn’t reach it. The whole point of doing the entire story on the laptop was that it only had smart quotes.

You may be wondering what in the hell I’m talking about. I’m talking about quotation marks from dialogue and apostrophes from contractions. Some where curly (smart quotes) and some were straight quotes. Jumbled all together. Most readers probably wouldn’t even notice. It took seeing it in a hard copy form, professionally printed for me to spot them.

It is a matter of pride, however.

So I blew the cover into the brightness once more, in one more attempt to perfect it to show off the awesome cover, and reformatted the entire inside. Which meant that I had to go back through and redo chapter titles and the full lines of italics, which my word processor during reformatting decided were wrong, more wrong than the freaking spaces after the freaking paragraphs that it keeps insisting I need.

I am slightly computer savvy, but have yet to be able to find how to change this option and the one that keeps insisting that I need to write in 12pt fonts. Who writes in 12pt fonts besides high schoolers who think they’re getting out scott free on a five page essay?

While I’ve been talking to Beth and she’s been encouraging about what’s going on, I have no idea if the launch was great or not. No one’s screaming for my blood and my rank didn’t immediately tank. I suppose in the indie publishing world, that means things went well.

I think.

When I first placed Contract Taken up for pre-order I was told that I should just publish immediately, but I did not. I didn’t get to build a lot right before the launch either, due to illness. I spent my days sleeping and getting better instead.

If you are a new author, I do agree with everyone else, publish right away and start that ball rolling. But I had a small base to start from my free works. The point of the pre-order wasn’t actually to draw in more readers and get a good first boost, but to give my long time readers a chance to get the book on discount.

Without that base, I think I would have had two pre-orders in total. Which would have been a waste of the pre-order, two orders don’t give you a boost, which is the whole point of the pre-order… for most authors.

Beth has been muttering about genre differences. She didn’t have that initial base, however. Family and friends mainly, was her base. Which is great, they can be very supportive. However, she didn’t exactly tell them all at once or shout it from the rooftops. She kind of mumbled it under her breath and ran away.

That’s kind of what Beth used to do.

I, on the other hand, am now giving away two hard copies to bribe co-workers. The one person knew for a couple of months. The other one, I jokingly threatened to quit on because I was going to make it big on my BDSM erotica of course. Except I did it while the first person was there. So when they asked me if I was being serious about having written erotica, the other person responded in the affirmative.

I have done that several times and each time denied because no one knows. … Thanks, lady.

“Why wouldn’t you want people to know?”

“Look around you… now think erotica.”

“… Oh, oh.”

“Yeah, I still have bills to pay.”

Holding the broken hard copy in my hands was the most delightful part of my week. I cannot wait for the second proof to come in, sometime today or tomorrow.