Dorian went to bed early leaving me in the lobby. It’s an exercise in abandonment, you could view it as.
So I sat here for almost an hour when a French family came up to me and asked something. It was do I need all these chairs.
Oh my god.
I got excited and elated and happy. Because oh my god. People saw me and acknowledged me.
They took my fucking table. Moved it over and turned their backs on me. As I was tearing up, the woman turned and curtly said, “thanks.”
I almost started bawling my eyes out, then and there.
Sometimes when a woman is sitting by herself, she wants someone to talk to, not to be put in the corner like the thirty year old cat lady that she is. A person says they are alone…
SO YOU TAKE HER FUCKING TABLE AND LEAVE HER ALONE.
Fuck people. Fuck people to fucking hell and back. Are you fucking kidding me? This is what everyone does and Dorian is just all, “go out and make friends.”
Know why I can’t make friends? Because people are fucking assholes, that’s why
Fuck the world, let’s burn it to the ground and start again. Bam, asteroid in The Ark world ends nearly everyone dies. Maybe put a couple fuckers out the air locks.
I’m a harmless human being. I don’t bite. Talk to me. You don’t have to buy my coffee, but talk to me. When you ask about my table and I say yes and smile, sit at my table. Engage me, be social.
Don’t be a fucking dick.
I am human.
I have human emotions and needs.
But other humans subvert my needs for theirs. Always, constantly, and over and over again.
I recently made a new friend and when I pointed out that I’m “crazy” she said, “all I see is action and reaction. They do this thing and then you react like this. It’s not crazy. You’re allowed to have an emotional reaction.”
And you know what? She’s right. I’ve never told someone who wronged me to go fuck them fucking selves.
I’ve cut them off. I’ve said no. I’ve declined to comment and eventually I just stop responding. Maybe I should tell people more often.
Bitch, I have a fucking voice and was raised by fucking sailors. Fuck your whore mouth and the woman who spawned you.
Or… people can sit down and talk to someone instead of literally leaving them in the corner by themselves with no one to talk to.