Update

I need to figure out a name for these besides ‘update’ and I’ve lost track of the week.

So, there’s this week and next week full of classes, then two days and then our final tests. For our specific program these are just regular tests, not exams. Unless we’re failing, in which case we have the choice of taking one massive exam on everything we’ve covered. Now, 60% is failing, not 50%.

And, I think I’m at the point where I will receive a passing mark in all classes even if I slept the next two weeks. I think I’m going to finish Grim Travels over winter break…

Harvest is being edited now, and it’s going well. I’m catching things I wouldn’t have caught before thanks to what she’s taught us. It’s still my worst mark by far.

Thanks to Black Friday sales, I have a couple of lifetime memberships to one software I had wanted, and one I already had which is coming due on a yearly subscription in January and I was worried I’d have to cut it out because I can’t really afford it on a yearly basis, but it’s been quite helpful.

I may have to cut out Grammarly, even though I’ve come to rely on it so heavily. Especially if the new program can do almost as well. Why have two that do the same thing, such on and so forth.

And yeah, it’d be another set of eyes, especially with how much editing I’ll be doing over the next year, but I just can’t explain the redundancy of the expense.

Could have bought an X-box One… and I thought about that, but it it had been a gaming console, I wouldn’t have put out the money.

A major project is coming due next Monday, I’ve had it written forever and hated it then, and I think I still hate it. But I have to revise it on what I’ve learned over the semester and edit it a bunch. It might be going to the writing teacher as well. Her course outline said we’d have three or more assignments and I think we’re up to seven now…

Math, we have a test tomorrow. I’m not even certain if we have enough time to get through the course curriculum. Our class missed out on two weeks. And most of what he’s teaching us now we don’t need for our jobs, but an administrative professional should know.

I mean, I like it. Seems the more complicated he tries to make it, the better my mark is? I dunno, it’s just weird, I guess.

In Document Formatting we’ve moved on to Memos and Business Letters. So boring. I was hoping she’d teach us more about making things look pretty. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand why we need to know how to make Memos and Business Letters. I am trying to pay attention. We definitely need those in our jobs.

Accounting has us working on Bank reconciliation now, we’re right on schedule, I think, for that. Payroll is stupid and I never want to deal with it in the workplace unless it’s through a system.

In Interpersonal Communication on Friday, she brought in a sample job posting. It’s all union based, which means you pay a union fee, but there are benefits and steady hours. I’ve never really been against unions. Not having unions is why retail workers and food-service workers are treated like trash.

Except, if they unionize, the company will close the store without notice. Yeah, because fuck everyone for wanting an agreement. Stable working conditions? Regular hours? Have unemployment!

I’m actually starting to get excited about possibly working in the hospital. At first it was like, okay, this is a place that is always going to have jobs, but now I’m getting into the idea. It’s a whole new environment with a whole different set of people and expectations. The personalities are probably the same, but it’s something new.

Except about seventeen of twenty people are interested in applying to the hospital. I only hope they have that many positions open. I figured the number would be lower. I figured it’d be more like 40% of us would want to go to the hospital. Ah, well. That sucks.

Work, well…. work is poop really. It’s different than other poop situations, wherein the boss is saying the things I’m thinking in my crabby state, but she’s putting it professionally and in polite terms. Without attitude.

I was almost in tears when I arrived yesterday morning do do a shift of just production (basically) because the day before I had had to redo two pieces because someone hadn’t written any notes on our order forms like they were supposed to, and then I received a late night text as I was trying to sleep about how I had done another piece wrong and not followed instructions.

Not from my boss, no, from someone working in the area. I told the boss I was going to break them of the habit.

Here’s the thing: if they ask about one thing, it’s just fucking constant. It has always reduced to “how do I tie my own shoes?” which I don’t need to answer, they should know. So I cut them off early and tell them to problem solve. I’ve started to do the same thing when they say they’re going to text the boss. I tell them no.

Unless it’s like, damaged art or something. But I think the one item was a bit had to be reordered. Why would you bother her at home? Reorder it and then tell her the next morning, when she’s in and you’re in and… just don’t bother her at home.

Can’t set the alarm? call the boss.

Store gets robbed? call the boss. (it’s never happened)

All the tills go down? Call the boss and the district boss.

You have to reorder a mat that looks like someone chewed on it? Don’t contact the boss. It is not an emergency situation.

I also need them not to contact me at home because I so rarely have time at home and to myself. The most basic way to put it is: fuck off, this is my time. But the polite way would be to say that I am working 30-40hrs a week, going to school 30hrs a week, and most of the time only have enough time to drink a coffee in the morning and shower at night before I go to bed. Whatever time I have is absolutely sacrosanct.

I need to be left alone.

So, I’m going to enforce that. The laws, I’m almost certain, say that if anyone from work reaches out to me at home, I need to be paid three hours. I’m an hourly employee, you want me to do work over text.

Fuck off.

Except, it’s not the boss doing it.

My next day off is December 17th. Why? Because they got ten frames done across three days. I did eleven in my five or six hour shift, the next time I was in there. And you can make excuses until the cows come home, but on Saturday I made my sales and did eight pieces, then redid two of them because the notes didn’t happen.

So, I don’t get time off because otherwise there will be screaming customers, and these guys are trained to throw others under the bus and I just can’t have that, can’t do it either. I like being back there and doing production. I’ve been playing my personal music as I work because it can’t be heard from the door of the shop, certainly not by customers. It’s kind of nice and, as I stated before, I need the hours.

Except, I’m tired and people are doing stupid things that I’ve talked to them about. Nothing seems to get done once I step out of the shop. The boss is trying, but there’s only so much she can do.

Their manager left the store suddenly, they’re still tail spinning and they were trained to fight against one another and everything they were told. They were gaslighted, told lies, blamed for every mistake like it was the end of the world.

If it sounds like psychological abuse happened, that’s because it did. And she got away with it for years because it was just status quo so no one bothered trying to fix it.

And we need to, somehow, fix this. We’re mid-busy season and it’s just tuck and roll but I’m already drained from school, where I need to be bright and perky, then walk back into problems day after day and it resulted in me almost in tears as the boss walked into the shop over the piece that I was told I didn’t follow instructions on.

I already had a plan to start the process of preventing it from happening again, but the store was closed, I was alone, and she walked in as I broke down, talking to the frame.

Here’s a plus side, I haven’t felt like this since I left Ontario. There’s just this weight sitting on my chest and I don’t want to get anything.

Car needs a windshield wiper and winter windshield wash, but the idea of walking across the parking lot to the store is too much. I’ve needed litter for a week, can’t seem to get myself to the store and I have access to a freaking car. There’s even a pet store just down the road from my school and work. You’d think I could just hop on over and pick it up but no.

And lunches. Well… I have lunch until Wednesday. Left over lunch from last week. Need eggs for breakfasts. How do you say breakfasts out loud? That’s just weird…

Between it all, I’m worn right out. So I grabbed Sims for the laptop, well, I just downloaded it as I already owned it, and I’ll probably end up playing that most of the next month. I’ve got Harvest edits to do and I think I will get through in time. Considering I can’t play my game at school. I’ll get it done.

Forgot my external mouse. Stupid… Hands hurt along the joints. Think we might be in for some nasty weather again. My fingers are also cracking around the nails. So touching them makes it feel like I’m being stabbed in the side of my fingers. But apparently I didn’t bring my hand salve during the move…

I probably found ants in it. But still, getting in to get that? Not happening. I also need socks. Weirdest thing, I’ve started wearing through my socks but my shoes are still fine? Normally it’s the other way around.

I am forcing myself to get the right amount of sleep, though. Any night I’m not working, or if I’m off ‘early’ I go straight to bed and sleep through the night. I’m forcing myself to eat. When I get like this I don’t want to or don’t remember to. Yesterday I didn’t eat until 11 a.m., about six hours after I got up because it just didn’t occur to me. That was stupid, but I’ve only skipped one meal in the last week so I do have that going for me. I’m making sure the absolutely necessary is done.

Well, besides the windshield stuff, the litter, lunches and toilet paper. But I can pilfer toilet paper….