There’s no internet. Why is there no internet?
There was a mobile outage for my carrier yesterday and it seems I no longer have data. I will probably have to go into the store and fix it there.
This is only a problem because I’ve been streaming music on my phone. My mp3 player is dead and I don’t know if I have my portable battery with me. I must… I think.
I need music. I’m super frustrated. Partly from work which obviously has not gotten better.
In fact, it’s evolved into ignoring me. The only time what I say is acknowledged is when the one who is causing the problems does the exact opposite of what I say.
The boss witnessed one of these events and I’d discuss the second with him except it’s my understanding that his boss will be there when I get in
Oh, and her boss too.
House is on fire. His boss doesn’t care about the dirty dishes so much as she does the meal being done on time.
I’m also frustrated with a certain service. I’ve been trying to figure out how to pay a bill for several weeks and today realized it’s overdue. But it was a futile and frustrating exercise because their site is not user friendly.
This isn’t some small site either. This is a million or probably billion dollar company. I filed three complaints this morning for each step of the way where I hit a wall. I tried to be polite but oh my gosh.
I also know corporate reads things like that. Especially when one of the complaints asked for a rating and I gave them the worst I could.
I need some sort of relief.
Yesterday I tried writing. Just a random thing. It was godawful and difficult to get the words out. That frustration is still riding my nerves. It was so bad on Wednesday that the person working opposite me asked if I believed in the use of marijuana.
I do, actually. But it’s still not legal and the THC keeps me from dreaming or writing for up to a week. It makes me feel really raw and vulnerable after, and not in the fun sort of way.
He’s a good guy, the one who suggested it. He was just trying to help out and was witness to a meltdown because of things being done the exact opposite of what I needed to happen. And he had been told to help me by the boss (who I didn’t give a choice to) only to be pulled from me by the one who is pretending I don’t exist. He came back to me, super confused but also helpful.
“Who do I listen to in that case?”
“Me. Anyone can do what she wanted, she can pull another body. You’re the only one who can help me, so you listen to me.”
See my problem? I want to talk about one thing but I’m entirely focused on something else despite trying to refocus.
It’s going to be a long project this month. Only six chapters long too.
All right, let’s try this again.
It’s December 1st. That means I can open my advent each day (no, it’s not wine or that mythical edible advent) but also that a new writing project starts today. The project for December is Contract Sealed.
And you might be asking, “Aya, how many m/m books do you plan on writing on this adventure of yours?”
And my answer is: shush.
Technically speaking there are only two more. Contract Sealed and Contract Delivered.
His Wings deals with it a bit.
I know with the second Contracted trilogy I’m going to get backlash. The straight guy going gay is a cliche and blah blah blah.
Except Nate doesn’t go gay. He labels himself as a straight man who sometimes has sex with his best friend. He only ever agrees to the sex because he wanted the everything else of a Master/slave relationship.
That’s kind of why I like Nathaniel. He’s not willing to discuss his sexuality and is clearly a creature of upbringing. When he was growing up you couldn’t be both rich elite and gay. You absolutely had to be heterosexual and sexuality was very black and white. So he insists on it.
He’s not homophobic, just afraid of what would happen if he was labelled as anything but heterosexual. Let’s recall that how others viewed him was literally life or death until just before his thirtieth birthday.
And it’s not really that he’s bisexual. He’s not interested in men. He’s only interested in Mr. Wrightworth.
Let’s face it, who wouldn’t be interested in the sadist turned daddy?
In Contract Sealed Nate comes to terms with service, and is collared by Mr. Wrightworth. Collaring is supposed to be long-term, almost like marriage. It’s a commitment. But they make it even though they know their relationship has to end at the end of the year.
Though, if we look at the whole series I can’t help but argue that Nate is still submitted to Mr. Wrightworth.
Book: Contract Sealed
Status: 14 1/2 chapters written between January and October.