Week Eight (Day Five)

Fuck this week.

I’m definitely in a mood. Such moodiness from me. I just want to growl, steal a bunch of chocolate and wine, and hide in the corner.

Sooooo…. the work starting in January is likely going to be a Wolf trilogy (previously called Bitches) I both hate and love you for that jab, so thanks.

That takes me writing wise almost to the end of school.

See, the issue is that I can’t write smut while in school. It’s obviously not appropriate, even if I do it on my breaks. So that has to be done while at home and such. I’m pretty freaking good, but I can’t write a book that fast (especially smut) if I’ve only got the time when I’m at home, which is usually an hour or so a day.

So. I’ve got two slots open for un-smutty stories. No, sorry, three.

Hmm, a trilogy would fit in there quite nicely.

Grim Haven is sitting about 70k words right now, so about 70% done. I’m loving this format I’m working with. As that word count goes up in a file I always slow down but because it’s broken up into bits, it’s much faster.

So much faster.

If I can figure out the editing, I now have a freaking problem. A BIG freaking problem.

I have too many books done and ready for publishing. If I do one a month through the year, I’ve got something coming out every month until… oh gosh, June of 2020 or so? Mainly with what’s already written.

Guys, help me figure out faster editing, fer realsies. I’m borderline two books every month and that’s super exciting considering the list I have going. I want all those ideas down and done so that when I sit at my computer I can just snag whatever crazy idea I have.

Like a reverse harem that’s now dancing about because I took it from Daisy. Or that Visitor’s book, or Prototype and all the ones from Aurora.

Omg. Can I just quit and become a hermit and just do this writing thing full time for a year?

No. No, I can’t. But I am determined and ambitious and am trying to look around for solutions.

I’ve got problems, I know I’ve got problems, I’m trying to solve them. Not being able to get over 12k words in a day is a problem for me. Not being able to edit faster, or not being able to ship a story out to an editor, is a problem for me.

I’m in a high word count group and saw they were mentioning some kind of sprint thing over and over again without explaining what it was. So, I asked and basically got eye rolls and “If you’re in *this other group* go there, and look her up.”

Thanks for the non-answer.

When I finally figured it out I realized I’m doing something similar but with short sprints and long gaps because I’m writing on my breaks and then paying attention in class. I commented and said I want to break through the 12k ceiling to which someone told me it was really good to be at 12k and I should be happy.

Yeah, it’s also really good that I had a part-time job, but I’m not going to sit around with a thumb up my ass because it’s really good. I want better. I expect better. Making it past that 12k ceiling is my next level. I’m glad you’d want to plateau but I don’t want to. I want to keep going because I’ve got this and this and this and this.

See what I was saying? I’m mood as all hell.

And ‘thumb up (my) ass’ is a saying my father used to use a lot. And possibly my mother. It’s an actual saying. If you’ve got a thumb up there, you can’t do much besides pleasure yourself? I don’t know where the origin comes from, it just seemed appropriate.

But the response I got was also a non-answer.

I discovered files in Word are supposed to display editing time, so the time you have the file open and as the active window. Except mine displays a big fat 0 while everyone else in the class shows a number.

I looked it up and the only answer I found was “some people are in places where privacy prevents Windows from logging such things,” which is all well and good. Completely understand, except everyone else around me has that number, we all got the program in the same country, we all live in the same country, most of us are citizens of the same country.

So, I asked. They gave me the same response. I supplied the information about my peers and was told that it’s a useless thing anyhow because this and this and this and if I want something that actually works I should go looking for one. Because it. Is. Useless. If you ever leave the computer or forget to close the window.

Thanks for the non-answer.

That’s not what I asked. I didn’t ask for excuses. I didn’t ask to be told how I’m wrong because I want to use this thing.

I freaking asked how to freaking turn the freaking counter on!

“This is how you do it. But I think it’s useless.”

Bam, their answer with what I’m looking for at the same time.

The only fecking answer I got this week was when I fished for editing tips and someone answered me on my personal facebook timeline. Thank you, person, for being the only one this week to actually answer my question.

Suppose it’s time for a school update too, huh?

Four tests this week, Writing was probably the worst. I’m desperately trying to pay attention in these classes but I’ve found myself gazing out the window in a daze. Physically I’m tired and emotionally I’m exhausted. Mentally I’m still here and alert but I’ve just had such trouble paying attention to anything for long.

In Document Formatting we’re starting to get into things I don’t know much about. You’d think that’d make me perk up but I almost fell asleep. The instructor does not have a quiet voice, she has us doing things through the course, basically doing what’s she’s teaching on our screens so we get the experience.

You’d think I’d be very alert.

Nope.

And Writing? We’re starting on punctuation and such. And you’d think, really think that because I want to improve my editing skills and get quicker at it that I’d be very alert during that class and reading all the things.

Nope.

Math I pay attention in though. Not a clue why. I mean, I like math in general, but I also like document formatting and writing sooooo… of all the things not to pay attention to, I’d think my brain would lapse at Math.

Nope.

Interpersonal Communication seems to be going okay. I’m trying to, you know, talk to people and such. But weeks like this one are hard.

When people interrupt me, give me the dead eyes look as they just sort of stare past me, ignore what I’m saying, tell me I’m wrong, give me non-answers.

I think I’m worn out again, emotionally. I had a day off just this past Sunday, but I used that time to rewrite blurbs on most of my books. Even that is emotionally wearing for me. My next day off is next Saturday. I’ll have two days off in a row. I think a bath and wine are calling my name again. Time for some self-care.

And, in the mean time, I’m going to keep writing. Because some people knit when stressed out.

I write.

Year End Review

My publication anniversary is here. Technically past but that’s fine, we’ll work with a generalized idea of it.

First off, let’s do inventory.

Last year about this time, I started my 12-in-12 challenge, meaning to write a book a month. Technically I have one more day to finish. I think I’m shy by one book, but my numbers keep slipping all over the place. It’s expected, but whatever, it’s close enough, right?

Published this year:

His Grace Oct. 25, 2017

Contract Gifted April 7, 2018

His Wings April 8, 2018

Fragments May 9, 2018

Isabella’s Story (boxset) Oct. 6, 2018

Seed Oct. 15, 2018

Published “next” year:

Crop Nov. 22, 2018

Harvest Dec. 31, 2018

Wraith’s Rebellion (box set) Jan. 2019

The Reaping (box set) Feb. 2019

Written this year:

Contract Claimed -NaNoWriMo appr. 89k words

Contract Sealed – Dec appr. 20k words

His Wing – Jan approx. 87k words edited and published

Contract Delivered – appr. 70k words

Crop – appr. 87k words (finished about 104k) edited and published

Harvest -appr. 90k words (finished about 108k) edited and published

The Last Prophet – appr. 90k words mild editing

Hera – July appr. 97k words beta read

Contract Gifted – appr. 25k words edited and published

Grim Port – Oct. appr. 101k words

Plotted out:

D.o.t.A. books x 4 (I cannot recall their names)

Savage Shores – m/f alien interaction on a giant paradise ship.

Contract Unspoken – m/m smutty novella of Mr. Wrightworth and an unnamed slave

Elysia – an Elders book about Elysia finding Kaz and turning her, though told from his perspective.

The Special Boy – a Coven book set in the Coffee and Blood world about the grown male witch

Grim Haven/Grim Travels – two books to fill out the Grim trilogy set in Scotland

In Planning:

Bob – (Coffee and Blood) an ‘Elders’ book, as Bob is technically an Elder, about Vampire Las Vegas. South American setting.

Ba En Ra – (Coffee and Blood) a trilogy set in the Ba En Ra family, said to be located in or around Egypt, where they lived for tens of thousands of years.

The Rebellion – (Coffee and Blood) a trilogy wrapped around the werewolves and witches and a treaty they are in the process of forming.

Bitches – (Coffee and Blood) I don’t care what the freaking wolves say, this title has to change. This is a couple of stories, or maybe a trilogy wrapped around Daisy and her adventures. I’ve given her a nudge and she might find herself in Mungo’s path. That’ll make sense later on.

Duality – (solo world) a book or series set around a world where mages need to pair off in order to access their magic.

Shade – (solo world) a series of random books of varying lengths about an immortal named Shade.

Savage Shores – this is supposed to be a series following the consequences of the book.

Alpha – a set of three smutty m/m novellas revolving around the ‘adoption’ of a new companion by an Alpha who has two already. They would then be released in a set. The series would continue on.


Something is missing. Maybe December was finishing off Contract Signed. It would take about four hours for me to find the information and then I’d get lost down the rabbit hole.

In the last year I’ve also moved, gone back to school, moved from full time to part time work, adopted a cat, got my license back… been making my own covers.  I like the cover making, but I need more experience and practice before I start selling, I think. I always think that, so we’ll see how it goes.

Cover design takes hours at a desktop, though. I don’t have that time. So no arts and crafts for me.

So…

What do I want to do in the next year? What do I want to see?

I want more than five books published. I want the entire backlog edited and published. I want to keep writing as fast as I am, so one or more books written a month.

I need to set a clear goal but I think I need to think on this more. Just like I did last year, I want to set up the books for writing and editing and such on. I want it all listed out.

Right now, let’s focus on right now: Finishing the Grim trilogy. Write that sucker. I could be done in two weeks with some pushing.

Once finished the Grim trilogy, finish reading Harvest. Grab Hera and do a read, then start the plot edits then do other edits. Grab the Grim trilogy as a whole. Read it all, do plot edits. Then start actual edits on the trilogy.

Given time and how things are falling into place, I’m actually hoping to have that almost done by January 7th when I go back to school.

So, my real hope is that my next year will look like this:

January: Wraith’s Rebellion box set

February: The Reaping box set

March: Hera

April: Grim Port

May: Grim Haven

June: Grim Travels

July: Grim box set

… and then? I dunno, but that would get me four out of 7+ books. Dum, dum, dum, what do I do then? I’m definitely on a Coffee and Blood kick but they don’t draw a lot of income so far.

Except I freaking love them. You know, if you couldn’t tell. Those who read them seem to like them, which is fantastic. I just need more readers.

So… oh, D.o.t.A, I guess.

 

 

Week Eight

Quick updated, I guess this is.

Mid-terms are this week and I’m thoroughly bored with school and trying to pay attention so I’ve started Grim Haven, writing on breaks and the like. I then wind up paying attention in class so that I can get the homework done the first time without having to redo it because I read through too quickly or something. Chapter seven is about to start so 30k words since Wednesday at lunch or so.

It was a long week, starting on Tuesday for work. The assistant has had to request a leave of absence and will be gone through most of our busy season. We have a new full-time of my position, which is good, except she’s still learning and we can’t lean on her. There’s also the problem co-worker but we can’t lean on her either.

Which leaves two functioning members able to do things like opening and closing. Me and the boss. So, with the new one off next week for training in another store, which thankfully is in their slow period due to their location and the fact that everyone travels south from them for the winter, she’s working something like… three weeks in a row?

Then she’s off because she booked time off before and tickets are already booked, or else her time off would probably be cancelled. Then she gets stats off basically.

Oh. My. God.

All I’m thinking about is how crazy I got doing the same thing. I like her, I respect her, I don’t want her to suffer just so I can be comfortable so I’ll be doing basically whatever she needs me to do over the next six to eight weeks.

So… I could be working Tuesday to Sunday and only have Monday’s off. She’s going to probably give me every other Sunday off because we did discuss how I can’t do that again because I go freaking crazy and just can’t do it again.

In school it’s all simple for me (for now) and we’re taking tests all this week so last week was so boring. We were reviewing and I knew the stuff and I’m struggling to stay focused in class because what if I miss something, right? I’d rather get it down now than struggle on the job. Which was why I started writing Grim Haven. It’s a weird thing, but it works so I’m going with it.

But due to work, I’m not at 50 or 60k words like I was with Grim Port after the same number of days.

With that all coming up, there’s been a change to the plan.

See, I have three weeks in December. Grim Travels will be done in that time. Which means I’ll be sitting on a lot more books.

Hera needs to be edited and published before the Grim books. So what is it now? Box set of Wraith’s Rebellion in January, Box set of The Reaping in February. Hera in March, then Grim from April to June and the box set in July. I’m desperately wishing for an editor and cover designer now.

I’ve got all these books on backlog but haven’t the inclination to edit them, I just want to write more. Which, I mean, in a way is good. But because of my position and how things are going, I can’t just not edit.

My beta is a lot of help, but she can only work if the freaking printer works. And no one in town seems to have ink! I went to exchange a non-functioning cartridge and they were out of ink again, they had to give me a refund even though it was against store policy. I mean, all I was going to ask was if I could come back with the cartridge in a few days and exchange it then because they said they were going to receive a shipment.

I might have a line on an inexpensive cover designer who does good work, so the styles could be changing some, but that’s actually the part I like the most. Of the two, I meant, editing and cover design, I prefer doing cover design, I just don’t have the time for it like I thought I would. I have to be at the computer and the computer has to be behaving, otherwise I have long gaps where I can’t get anything done because the program is thinking because the hard drive is a piece because it’s an Acer.

I really hope I can afford an SSD drive for my next computer. That would be just fantastic.

 

Week Seven

Sorry for the absence here. Those who follow my Facebook Page have probably been following along over the past nine days and what a doozy it’s been.

Had a hypergraphic episode. It probably ended Friday, but I was about halfway through then so I figured I’d push on through. Might have hit again today, but that was also likely triggered by anxiety.

Which hit me Sunday morning. And then my boss texted me at home. “What exactly happened last night?”

That’s never what you want to hear, especially when you’re at home, from someone who usually respects that work barrier. So the anxiety definitely get worse, but Sunday started it because I forgot to take my morning pills which include a St. John’s Wort. I don’t know why the anxiety is riding so high in just general.

It sucks, really, because until June it wasn’t that high.

Now, I did start driving myself on Friday, maybe this is just an adjustment period. It’s been a long time since I’ve driven myself and I definitely miss it. I like being the only one in the vehicle with music playing. It’s relaxing, really. Especially night driving, which I know lots of people don’t like, but I like it. There’s this calm of night driving, there are fewer vehicles on the road then and less to deal with, I guess.

It’s just a bad mental health week for me. I want to cry and don’t know why. I want to hide, don’t know why. Instead, I force a smile and try to function but it sucks, really.

Yesterday I told my cousin we should leave earlier if he wants to be dropped at the front doors. There’s a traffic circle by the front doors and the idea of going in there caused a mini-attack while I was in the car.

So, you know, picking him up is going to be fun.

He, of course, has never grappled with anxiety, so he demanded to know why that would cause anxiety.

I don’t think I said it would cause anxiety. I think I said it would cause an anxiety attack. Growing up I got that a lot. Bullshit about how mental health is in your head and there’s nothing to be sad about, blah blah, ignore it and it’ll totally go away.

Mind you, that’s why I get out of bed now, but having someone ask that actually caused me more problems. Thankfully I answered.

“Because… anxiety, it’s… bad.”

I finished Grim Port today and I’ve just got a lovely little feeling but underneath it all is the anxiety. It’s back and kicking into high gear as I sit for work.

It’s not my usual day to work, but there was a sudden need. It’s also that particular co-worker’s night to close.

And I’m already a bundle of tears and nervous anxiety wrapped up in attention problems and way too much energy.

Wonder if I have an attention disorder… No, I can pay attention fine when I want to.

I’m not worried about the past. I’m not worried about the future. I’ve got a handle on finances so far. I get paid this week and then pay out from that, but that didn’t even register until this second. So all that stuff that’s been flicking me in the nose, basically, over the past couple of months isn’t doing that.

A few ratings and reviews have come in for Seed and they’ve been good so far.

Unless it’s just one of those… calm panics.

It’s this weird thing that one of my friends from high school pointed out. I lived with her for a while and after a year, I started trying to find an apartment. I didn’t want to move out, she didn’t want me to move out, but it was just this… this instinct. I started panicking because I was in the same place for so long.

Turns out that can happen. Nothing bad goes wrong after a lifetime of explosions and after a few weeks of quiet, you start seeing everything as a problem. It’s a pretty big struggle to get over, but possible.

Maybe it’s just that. It’s like I expect someone to fling something at my head or something. Like just getting ready for it and panicking ahead of time because I’m trying to find out where the thing swung at my head is going to come from.

Hopefully, not my boss. She texted me Sunday, today is Tuesday, I haven’t seen her since.

School is going all right. We changed from Keyboarding to Document Formatting last week and I’ve learned a bit, but I miss the hour of music to unwind as I did typing, of being wrapped up in me and my worlds while I did some work. It was nice. I’m learning from Document Formatting though, so I’m still trying to pay just as much attention there as anywhere else.

Some of the other students have decided having two tests on one day is too much, having five in a week is way too much, and they’re trying to get things pushed. I don’t want them pushed and it seems these other students know that. It upsets them that I want to stick to the schedule.

How often have you gone to your boss needing an extension on something? Need it because it happens to fall on the same day as some other deadline?

For me? Uh, I think three times in twelve years. Otherwise, you try to skip out on a deadline and you’re in a lot of trouble. Deadlines, stress, it’s a part of any job.

Plus, I mean, they were talking about taking the accounting test from Tuesday with Math and moving it to Wednesday where we’re having a writing test. So. Rather than have the two math tests the same day, they want to switch it up and do math and then english and think that somehow it will help them out?

I just, I dunno, guys, that sounds like a bad idea.

Over lunch I got passive aggressively chastised again because I’m not having trouble. So, yet again, I explained that it’s just this semester I know almost everything for. Next semester I’d be in the same boat as everyone else.

I mean, my grades are between 90 and 99% right now. I watch others try to argue with the instructor about what should and should not count as right. Or, I explain to them how to do it and they say they understand then I watch them go to the rest of the class on another day with the same question.

Get the same answer. Then go to the instructor with the question.

Up and leave at 3pm every day, and the instructors do not look impressed at all.

Skipping class, texting in class. I’m seeing this all and I’m just thinking omg because they all seem to think that… that the instructors don’t literally have a file on each of us. They’ve told us as much. There is a file with everything in it, if we’re late, our emails to them, what we wear, how we behave, if we work with others.

I’m not sure how much clearer that could be made.

And there I am at the back of the class feeling self-conscious if I take too many notes because they might think I’m writing or something. For Googling the answers to questions I want that aren’t being taught in class (maybe because they’re being taught later, but I don’t know…)

Can I just take a mental health week? Just stay home, build a blanket fort, and sleep the whole week away.

Oh, that’s right, I can’t. Because I have to work and I have to go to school and in between I have to try to do cleaning and maintaining of things otherwise I’ll drive myself crazy.

Winter break is about seven weeks away. Then we’ve got three weeks off in a row. During which time I need to pick up whatever hours work is willing to offer me. It’s all this have to and got to and must haves. But even if I work every hour they’re allowed to give me, it’s not really making any impressive number.

Yay, life.

Where’s my damned sarcasm font?

Week Five (Saturday)

I’m in one of those weird states where I don’t quite have a project started but I also don’t necessarily have the get up and go to start a new project. It happens sometimes, and passes within a week so I don’t push myself anymore. I just try to view it as my brain doing a disc defragmentation and a cleanup before it gets back to work. So, instead of fighting it now, I just kind of lean into it and play video games more than usual.

Of course, over the summer and before school, video games were about the last thing on my mind. Besides these little stolen moments between work and school, and the days at home when I needed a distraction to keep me busy, I don’t normally play games this much in such a short span of time.

I might have actually played more in the last two months than I did in the three years previous.

I’m not counting running Sims in the background while I edit to keep me off the internet as playing a game, as that was more of me being passive aggressive with myself.

Being in that weird, in-between place, I booted up No Man’s Sky on the desktop, just for giggles, it never works on the desktop anymore but I’m giving it a shot. It’s been running some ten minutes, still loading. But it didn’t crash upon load up… wait.

No, I think I deleted the shader cache after I played last so of course it’s going to work. Well, I’m this far in, might as well keep going with it.

I like the bigger screen, but the desktop is slow as could be, it’s getting slower and is even slow doing Paintshop Pro, which I use for my covers. It sucks, but it still works. It’s just that I don’t want to have that patience. I want my bloody computer to work like it’s just under two years old, not like it’s five years old and my brothers have been downloading porn onto it.

Next desktop, I want to be a solid state drive. But that’s a save up for sure. Need a car first, unless this one breaks on me, in which case I’ll have to settle for whatever is on sale as long as it’s not another bloody Acer.

Wow, I really rambled for a while there, didn’t I?

Your hypergraphia is acting up.

Yesterday, I started writing Shade’s story by hand. I don’t expect it to go anywhere on paper, but at least I have something there I can add to when I need to and just keep going. And if it does happen to go someplace, well, I can practice my transcription skills and get it onto the computer.

So, while sitting, waiting for the game to load, you watch this rather peaceful screen that’s stars flying by, as if you were going faster than lightspeed in space, I guess is the idea. Me sitting there with my coffee, started thinking.

Now I’ve got this weird plan, but I’m going to give it a go.

For indie publishing, it’s suggested you don’t go more than 90 days without a new book. The closer together, the better. Okay, whatever, that was kind of my publishing schedule before. Some authors have had great success by publishing once a month.

Don’t worry, I’m not full on crazy just yet.

Harvest is still partly with the beta and I don’t want her to feel like I’m rushing her. Now, my beta is my aunt who lives upstairs and does a ton for me, but I don’t talk about it because I want to respect her privacy. She does a fantastic job and gives a bit of a different perspective on stories… and is to blame for Scottish vampires that will be happening sometime next year.

But I feel like I’m reaching a point in No Man’s Sky where I need a break. I love the planets and wandering about, but I’ve devoted almost the same amount of time to it as I usually do in writing a book. I may need a break.

However, my iddy biddy mind can’t handle just wandering the internet. I’ve got school and the paying job, and writing, I can’t focus on just wandering about. It’s a desire to achieve, or… what the heck do the call it? I don’t remember.

The internet wandering is wasted time. Reading someone else’s book doesn’t do it for me, so while sitting with my coffee, my brain started tossing ideas back and forth on what could be done.

We’ve got Seed in October, just a few days away. Crop in November, on Thanksgiving day for Americans (why did I not think of that before? Bad Aya). And Harvest in December, right near the end giving me time because I have a two week winter break before the book goes live. Lots of time, right?

In theory on that one. But we’re almost 160 pages in, which is halfway or so, so yeah, I think it’s safe to say there’s lots of time to get that one done.

Come January, I’m going to do the box set of Wraith’s Rebellion, the first of the Coffee and Blood series. In February, I’m going to release the box set of The Reaping.

See? Easy work come January and February. Except the inner table of contents. Damn, do I regret naming each chapter and replacing chapter heads with images when I do this. It’s a lot of scrolling and then I feel woozy because I get motion sick and then I get to the end and find out I missed one and there’s a scrambling to figure out what I did wrong.

And Smashwords always finds a fractured image in my Coffee and Blood books, because somehow it happens. It’s a process but I suppose I’ll have those two weeks of winter break to figure it out.

So… where’s the crazy come in?

I am going to take the second trilogy of Contracted, which is written already, put it on my kindle and read it start to finish. Then? Well, then I’m going to take notes on it and start putting in edits. I’m going to write out the plot basically, then fix the bloody thing. Then I’m going to do the basic edits. Then I’m going to use my editing programs to find the problems rather than struggle through to find them myself. Then I’m going to edit it again.

Then I’m going to publish them in March, April, and May. Then the box set in June. With any luck, the complete edits will be done before the first launches, leaving March, April, May, and June to work on Hera.

Because editing one book is relatively simple when I’m not freaking out about work. I do it over coffee, I do it on commutes (until I start driving myself) I do it between school and work, one these Saturday mornings and Sunday nights. Until my homework and studying ramps up, I do it Monday and Tuesday evenings and on lunch breaks at school.

Some people knit, or play mobile games. I edit. It’s a very weird thing, but anyone can train themselves to do it.

So, I want to edit three and a half books between now and June. I want to publish seven books, but of those seven books, three of them are just about formatting as long as I get the edits done.

Mildly crazy plan, but for the first time in weeks, I feel excited and ready to go. I feel like I have a direction and a plan and I don’t feel like I’m giving up something I love to be paid an hourly wage and be screamed at.

And, usually, once I have a plan, I set about and do it.

This is awesome.

Oh, someone might ask about Contract Claimed, when that’s actually coming out? It has no release date because it needs to be re-written and expanded at least to two books total, maybe three. So it’s likely my project for next summer.

And Awakened needs additions that I’m slowly picking away at. So if there’s a day I can’t edit, that’s what I’ll be doing.

And The Others? Well, it is an ongoing project, I’ve updated several times over the past couple of weeks so now might be a good time to go back and re-read. Though, to be fair, the updates are easy to write and I can add a little here and a little there. I just need to put a little work into the site to update the characters and add a glossary for Todd’s dictionary.

Week Five (Day Five)

Finished the first hundred pages of Harvest, got another sixty from my beta reader. I keep thinking I’m going to drop off and ‘die’ mentally again so I’m pushing through this but I still have until December.

Trying some ads for Seed even though I shouldn’t, because I’m technically broke. I’m trying them because it’s the best pre-order to date and I want to get it out there to the right readers.

Bookbub scared the bejesus out of me yesterday. It sent me an email about a new release alert and I had a small panic/joy that they had actually taken me on for a new release ad. Panic because how would I pay for it, joy because oh my god.

But no, it’s a new release email they push to all your followers on Bookbub for free until you cross a specific follower line, which I think is over 1000. So… free for me forever!

Look at the upside of situations, I guess. Yup, that’s my mood today.

I guess it is update day for school.

Writing has gotten into talking about word choice and cliches, that kind of thing. It almost bores me because my work has talked to me about it for years, but then ignored it. I try to do the formal business-like language. So, I struggle to pay attention because I feel like I know it and she wants us to hand write everything while kind of discouraging notes. If I’m not taking notes, there’s a very good chance that I’m not paying attention, I’m just saying.

But all I want to do is write stories on the paper. The blank pages are taunting me, which they haven’t done in over a decade because I no longer deal with paper. It’s a lot harder for me to ignore that pull than it is to ignore the pull for a new story on the computer. At least the computer, I have to put in the effort to open the processor, whereas when I’m sitting in class with a blank page before me, trying to pay attention but I just end up staring at a blank page?

It’s worse than the clickety clack, it’s actually triggering my hypergraphia. That part where not writing has started to hurt and I hate that, but that’s how it goes when I resist impulses to write. So, I need to figure something out because writing The Others hasn’t helped take the mean edge off that need of mine.

All because she wants us to hand write everything!

I mean, I could hand write a story, just out on all that paper I have. I don’t actually need five hundred sheets of paper for school ,do I? I might use a hundred total, leaving just enough to write an actual book.

Oh god. Now I’m thinking about it.

Computer Skills and Math were kind of cancelled for this week as the instructor is out. He did assign work, I had the Computer work done the day he assigned it, I think, and the Math I finished yesterday about twenty minutes into the class that’s regularily scheduled for Computer Skills. I spent my remaining two hours reading the book for Interpersonal Communications.

The only class for that for this week happens this afternoon and we’ll have a speaker. No computer because she wants us to take notes and make sure the speaker feels like our full attention is on them. I get that. I suppose.

I swear, I’ll take actual notes and not write a story.

Although, now the idea of the pen scratching across the paper…

It’s like scratching a mosquito bite. It feels so good to think of that, but I know it’s dangerous and I shouldn’t do it.

What would I even write, right? I don’t have a story that could be done on paper!

There, matter settled.

Oh, but that scritchety-scratch of pen on paper.

Where was I?

Keyboarding?

The test yesterday was out 15% one, not the 5% one that I thought it was. Great, I feel like I did good, but I have this weird thing sometimes with proofing. I could proof until the cows come home. Then a book launches and I find a typo in the description.

I’m looking at you, His Grace.

Don’t worry, I fixed that one.

Anyhow, it took me about twenty minutes and for the timed writings in there, I actually met and exceeded my average words with no errors. Heck, I even had to go back and fix some stuff because I’m a silly goose.

My fingers are trying to say different words than I’m actively thinking to them. It’s like they’re trying to link to my unconscious mind which is kind of running in circles in the background going, “It’s almost NaNoWriMo and we haven’t settled on a story!”

Not participating in that this year, what with school and work and all.

Shoot, where was I? School update.

Accounting has been simple for this chapter. Doing the extra work took about ten minutes, and then I went back to reading the book for Interpersonal Communication. When I finished, I still had an hour or so of class left (this was ‘free’ time and many left during or even before the class started). I was going to work on The Others but there was a nagging voice at the back of my mind.

So, I wrote the rough draft of my book report yesterday in Accounting class.

Except, I can’t tell anyone except you, dear reader, because the other students have begun to resent me for always having everything done and never having a bother with the assignments. Or a complaint about the teachers. There appears to be some unrest starting and I don’t understand why everyone is getting so upset about sitting in class when it’s the perfect time to do that homework you’re behind on, or practice in that class you need help in.

Instead, they talk about wanting to go home and how a class or day is a waste. It’s not a waste, it’s a practical gift.

Besides what might be assigned today, I am going into the fifth weekend without any homework, because I took the free time I had at school and put it to work.

Pat on my back, right? It’s something to be proud of because I know me.

Normally by October, I throw my hands in the air and basically shout, “I quit!” and homework starts lagging. I know if I don’t do it here, I will struggle with it at home because that’s my time. And I won’t do it at work because some Nosey Nelly shoves her face into my business as I’m trying to do homework. They start asking about school and homework and what am I struggling at?

Oh, nothing? So, you’re just bored all the time? No, oh yes, of course you’re upset you missed 1% on your Accounting test.

No, I’m not upset because I didn’t get a hundred. I’m not beating myself up over it. I normally score in the 70% range for tests. When it came up to 99% it bothered me because I was so close and it’s a thing of pride to finally cross that threshold and have a 100% on a test.

I missed the dollar signs. She could have docked 3-6% for missing all the freaking dollar signs but she only took off a percent. For all she knew, I was dealing in ounces of crack, or bananas!

Ah well.

I don’t have lunch today. Yup, I went and blanked on freaking lunch. I’m not going to go hungry, I’ve got a debit card and got paid yesterday. It’s just that I’m one of those people who tends to look at the price of fast food/pre-made meals and turning up my nose because I could make something that tastes much better for that price or less.

Let that be a lesson to me!

If I had realized ahead of time, I might have been able to ask for leftovers, as it was, I didn’t find out until I was about to leave my room.

Next week I want to try to make loaded cauliflower casserole. I think is what it’s called. It’s going to be a little weird, but it’ll have cheese… and more cheese. I’m hoping it can pass for an “adult” macaroni and cheese because suddenly that’s what I’m craving.

Week Five (Day Two)

Technically, it’s day one. Canadian Thanksgiving was this weekend. The day it’s celebrated on depends on the family, really.

I formatted and uploaded the boxset for the first trilogy of Contracted. I expect I will move few copies over the next week, as the pricing will be a little skewed. Next Monday, Contract Taken comes off perma-free though it could take a week or more for it to show on Amazon. I’m not going to rush there, but only because I know trying to rush with Amazon is pointless.

On my two days off, I definitely did not do much in the way of work. Just the box set, really. Then I started playing my game. It’s a sandbox science fiction … rpg, I think? It’s fun.

I drank my bottle of wine and played it Sunday night, sticking to one planet for about five hours, just walking around collecting one specific resource which was all over the place. I made a lot of money, bought myself a new NPC ship, a special-class tool, and still had 8mil left over in the morning.

For contrast, I started my night with about 900k.

So, I definitely had a relaxing couple of days though I do regret the 2am night Sunday night. More sleep would have been better. Especially since the last two or so hours wasn’t really doing anything except trying to decide what to do.

Back to school today, no work today but I still am not a hundred percent with work. I’m glad my boss is back. With her, I don’t feel like I’m taking crazy pills. She follows policies and is up to date on things that others are ignoring because “we’ve never done that. We’ve always done it this way.”

Yeah, trust me, everyone can tell. They do things based on how they were trained something like thirteen years ago. But the company which hired them and the one we work for now are two very different creatures.

I don’t think I’d want to work for my old company.

Anyhow, I need to do a write up on things that happened over the past two weeks. It all needs to be accounted for and I’m concerned about the customer complaints and the team members who were upset.

… and the bright bubbly one getting so upset I did’t want to deal with her.

I have been looking into vehicles. Obviously, I need one to be independent. I can’t just live in the basement and borrow a car forever. I know it’ll be some time before I can afford one but I opened an account to start putting money into.

Used or new, I’d prefer new but I need to consider that price tag and my income. It’ll likely be a little beater or some sort, but if it works, it’s better than what I have now.

I’d really like to go back to writing, but I’d have to get rid of the day-job to write while at school. That really sucks, doesn’t it? Ah, well.