Tag: bdsm

Day Four… or in Other Words:

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Please let me go back to writing, I’ll be good! I won’t complain about the hours, or the editing, or how I feel insecure about my stories, I promise. Just let me go back to work!

Not that I really complained about the hours before…

Today we were supposed to go to Niagara Falls, but we overslept. Oh well. It kind of worked out in the end because er, let’s call her Mary, from yesterday? Well, Mary is going to the falls tomorrow with her man-friend.

Mary’s text dripped of a silently begging question. “Please, save me,” it cried. It didn’t take much for Dorian to change our plans around. Tomorrow we’ll go to the falls with Mary and her friend, to help her get through the week.

Dorian’s pretty certain she’d be interested in kink. Given the questions she’s dared to ask, I’m not surprised that he thinks that. So the next munch that happens, he wants me to invite her to it.

Oh yeah, me at a munch. Such a good example, Dorian.

I am kinky, but I do not like being submissive at munches. A fact that Dorian loves to take advantage of. If ever there were a time for me to keep my mouth shut, a munch is probably one of them. Not because subs should be quiet, but because the swear words that come out of my mouth, and my promise to “flay your dick off if you look at me again, you piece of shit.” every time my phone notifies me of a text, are sure to make people avoid me.

I swear when I get nervous. I also put on a tone of voice and glower at the intended idiot. If Dorian wasn’t there, it’d be no problem, but he insists I speak. If I didn’t have to speak, I wouldn’t get in trouble because I’d sit quietly with a drink, muttering to invisible friends.

Despite being ‘homebound’ today, I was not allowed to write. Taking the full week off means taking the full week off. My only respite is writing blog posts, which I swear Dorian only lets me write so that he can go back later, read it over, and see if he can torment me about anything else.

Hence avoiding all things smut today.

Yesterday Dorian finished reading Contract Renewed after we got home. He had taken it as his reading material. Of course his first comment was that it wasn’t directed at him, so he didn’t get as swept up in it. Then he asked if he should tie me up and invite Nolan over. If we should re-enact a scene from Contract Broken because he was pretty certain I’d enjoy it.

You know, what with the dirty dream on Monday?

No, Dorian.

Bad, Dorian!

I don’t care what actually ended up happening in the scene. Nolan is way too interested in making certain he has my undivided attention. And just because I write about three people having sex with one another doesn’t mean that I want to have a threesome.

Dreams are the Stuff of Inspiration 

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Last night while in Dorian’s arms, I dreamed of Nolan.

That takes a back story. 

Nolan is Dorian’s friend from the BDSM community. He is a full on sadist, but he’s also an arrogant asshole.

He is oh so gorgeous though. You know how some erotica and romance authors will describe their male MC’s as painfully beautiful, or some other weird description like that?

Nolan is one of those guys. He’s attractive to the point where you just can’t look at him. Because you can see it in his eyes as yours lock with his. He knows he’s attractive enough to turn a woman on with a glance, he knows you’re attracted to him like most women are, and he’s wondering if you’re willing to risk a tumble with a sadist to see if the rumours of his sexual prowess are true.

My…method… of dealing with Nolan actually drives him nuts. I know he’s out of my league, but he also doesn’t like women ignoring him. He has to be the centre of attention at all times. 

He doesn’t often speak to women. We’re objects to him, I suppose. 

The types of women he draws in are model hot, lithe little things that are either masochistic or willing to be pushed to their limits because they heard that sex with him is painfully delightful.

In short, most women would do anything to be his toy for a night.

And last night I dreamed of him. We were at Dorian’s in the dream and he got called into work. So Nolan and I saw Dorian out and I went back in to lock up. Nolan followed me and halfway into the apartment physically picked me up and took me to bed.

He kissed, he teased, and then my mind kind of did a double take and I pushed him away as he tried to continue. My whole body told me to submit even as the words came out of my mouth.

“No, it’s not fair to Dorian.”

And I woke up as he smiled that odd smile of his. The little lopsided, completely evil, obviously plotting your slow, tortuous, orgasm smile of his.

So I woke Dorian up in a panic. I was still caught half asleep and didn’t even remember it until this morning when he reminded me. But apparently I confessed to having just been with Nolan moments before and how he had done everything and I was taken for a moment but only a moment. He patted my head and told me that if I saw Nolan again before morning, I should take advantage of his attention.

Oh Dorian, you are so cruel. Because I immediately fell into the same dream and went through my usual day and at the end of it, found myself somehow alone with Nolan once more. 

Who pinned me down and kissed me so that I couldn’t protest verbally. 

I woke with the desire to write. Dorian denied me that right, asking me about my dreams and then basically ignoring me. Well, not ignoring me so much as ignoring the predicament my body put me into. 

He likes to tease, but once every couple of months I get to explore being dominant. That day is today…

Why does Nolan matter, you might ask? Why do you care about a sadist who doesn’t even know he drove me crazy in my dreams? 

Because Nolan was… kind of… only slightly, the inspiration for Mr. Wrightworth. Of course Nolan is purely heterosexual and the base is very light. Very, very light. 

Like I would only say it goes as far as the two being sadistic. I just don’t think Mr. Wrightworth would have ended up a sadist if I hadn’t met Nolan beforehand.

For the longest time I’ve not touched on this because… well, Nolan’s a little scary in a hot sort of way.

Then when we met up with Nolan for coffee this morning, Dorian filled him in by starting with the dream and going from there. 

Because that‘s not embarrassing. 

Though someone had to explain that shade of red I went when Nolan sat down.

I’m never going to live this down.

*Enter Witty Title Here*

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

Ah, the WordPress app. Beth suggested it while the tablet is having issues. You don’t even have to publish it, just put notes in a draft. I’ve tried all sorts of note programs and Office type programs but none of them really work. Or, if they do work, they don’t really make a file I can take to my laptop/tablet. 

Yesterday morning I edited a chapter. Then I did two blog posts first on the way to, then on the way from work. As soon as I got home I was on the phone with UPS because my package did turn up. 

Then I went back to editing and did another chapter, and another this morning.

UPS’S driver obviously entered the wrong city, which happens, I get that (and it turned up, so how could I complain?) And I was able to get answers and timely responses from them. 

I had, however, entered a ticket for my My Choice thing, because when I did the authorization apparently nothing took. I opened it under the tracking number for this package and was told to confirm I had entered it. I said yes and asked how I go about doing that again since obviously it didn’t work. And how would that work with Canada Post being weird? 

This morning the person responsible for the ticket responded with “I see your package was delivered to *wrong city* I hope you found our customer service helpful.” 

That wasn’t what this ticket was about.

With Canada Post being weird, I need to go through UPS to get hard copies of my books. The other service that runs starts with a ‘d’ and I can’t recall the name, but they suck. The drivers will not attempt delivery to apartment buildings. They drive up and idle for a bit, then leave claiming they were unable to make contact. As they did to me on four occasions for two different packages.

So my frustration at this dismal service does link into my writing. 

My local postman may mark something as delivered and then not deliver the notice for three days, but at least my package is safe at the local post office. It’s also about a third of the cost. 

I hope they resolve their issues soon. 

On the editing front, I’m now on chapter sixteen. I checked the word count today. I shouldn’t have.

Contract  Taken is about 87k words, Contract Broken is about 89k word. Currently Contract Renewed is sitting at 76k words. 

Going in, I knew it was shorter. When I started it was 66k words. I wrote its bare bones and knew that as I finished. The point was to get the skeleton out and to add the details later. Chapter fifteen was three pages of nothing but dialogue. It’s now five pages, but could probably be expanded on for physical reaction to emotion and stimulus. 

I definitely will need to do another go-through for editing and checking on that sort of thing. 

With four chapters left, I’m not even certain how I managed this because I swear there were two more chapters of sex and three more of other stuff. 

There’s definitely not enough sex. Of course I’m trying not to repeat too much, wouldn’t want to bore anyone. I think I’ve done well so far, but while I could easily add more, it’d probably be summed up by Izzy as, “a regular play session,” which kind of makes it sound boring. However, I’m concerned that if I go into details of a regular play session, the reader will find themselves bored because they’ve already had that.

I could add some suspension play, I know both of them are interested in that, but I have absolutely no experience with suspension. It’s something that Dorian isn’t interested in, let alone has the setup for, and I can’t play in public at all. 

I’d just start crying, like last time. 

It’s kind of funny how I’m very private about play (using an anonymous pen name to say I do play doesn’t count) yet I’m parading Izzy’s exploration of play before my readers. 

Once I go through the edit, I might ask Dorian for help. And I’ll be specific that I don’t mean seduce me for ‘inspiration’ purposes. He’s supposed to help me with Nathaniel’s trilogy as well. 

I know the male perspective of books can be well-received but Nathaniel isn’t like that. One book is about Izzy, I think. The other two are about before her. Everything that led up to his meeting her. 

I sound a little ramble-ly, I know. But doing a blog post helped me stay focused through the day yesterday, do I’m hoping it’ll help today as well.

Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Time

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

If I do no editing whatsoever, I could write all the ideas! But that won’t work… so what I’m thinking instead is finishing Contracted and getting it up and out of the way, then writing for about nine months straight.

Why nine months? 

Because I believe Amazon will let you do preordering three months out at the most. So once Taken goes live, I give it a week and start the preorder for Broken. 

And avoid all the reviews.

I’ve got a new idea kicking around for a world with vampires. I know, typical creature stories are overdone and after that, then what? Werewolf? 

I have a dislike of shifter stories, though.

While I’ve always sworn never to write a vampire story, my dislike of them boils down to the tropes. Like, if there be vampires, there must also be werewolves.

So I just play with the tropes I dislike. Such as having vampires argue the spelling of vampire, or upon being asked where the werewolves are, the MC is told this is the real world, not some romantic fantasy.

I’m also thinking about including excerpts at the end of the books. A sort of ‘coming soon’ but I’m not sure if I want proper excerpts or if I should have the MCs explaining their world to the reader. 

“In my world, genetically ‘superior’ humans are called Alphas. They spend their lives trying to outdo one another and accumulating wealth in the form of property, money, and companions. 

What’s a companion you ask? 

I am. 

We’re humans who carry what the Alphas call the G14 genetic marker. That specific sequence of genes means that under the right conditions we will break and form an everlasting bond with the one who breaks us, Alpha or human.

Women were once excluded from the selection and breaking process, but when the Alphas overthrew the government, everything changed. 

I’ve been caught, charged with a ridiculous crime, and they’ve decided it’s time to break me.

I won’t go down without a fight.” 

Seems to catch my attention more than trying to select am excerpt from the entire book. It also gives a look at the world, oh… it could be the description  of the book too! 

I may be spouting the stupidest idea ever. I need a sounding board. Being in a different genre and even writing in a different perspective, Beth isn’t much help for excerpt and description set up.

World creation, yes. Though she’s constantly asking me why my worlds are based around BDSM and domination. Guess that’s just my thing? 

Sweet romances don’t go over well. The last time I did something fluffy, everyone expected the characters to all be slaughtered at the end. Apparently I have a tell…

If I write something adorable, somebody’s going to get hurt.

So I’m trying to change that. It’s an amusing tell, though, so I’m still kind of debating whether I should just keep it. 

End a book in a trilogy with fluff and watch everyone cry…

Reading Through

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

I just finished the trilogy—reading it, that is. The first and second books are great, there’s a running theme to the sex and everything else. The third seems to be lacking the theme on the sex.

I asked Beth to read them, as I had mentioned before. She did and her response to the first two was to basically blush. The third she said, “well… I feel like it needs a balance. The others were sub, sub, the last one is like… wtf is going on? What happened to all the talk about domming?”

She’s right, I need to rewrite a few chapters. Fix a lot more things in the third book than in the others. It’s okay, I got this. So besides the opener, things have to be swung into the domme mode instead of having them switch back and forth and there’s not so much play or sex in the last book. Which is kind of understandable.

Now I’m just talking to myself as I try to figure out how to position everything to get it ready.

The first book has some timeline edits and small things like that, but mainly typos. The second is the same thing, really. A fact change here, a fact change there. I’m actually on the fence about the decision I had made before. Reading through, I don’t think it works any other way.

I suppose my fear is upsetting some readers with that, but removing it would require altering three other things throughout the entirety of the book and I don’t think I could accurately give the presentation any other way.

So far the titles I’ve come up with are Contract Taken, Contract Breached, Contract Renewed, or Contract Taken, Contract Lost, Contract Found. With the first being the preferred.

I realize in the genre I’ve chosen, I want to write fast but I’ve just never been that sort of person. The Contract trilogy was written fast for me, at one book a month. Still need to go through edits, however. And I’m so happy I put off the edits until I was finished writing them.

A month or so to edit, set the first release three months from now, the next one three months after that, the next three after that. I think that’s the pattern that you need to have. Not certain. But maybe by the time the second book releases, I’ll have the next trilogy done and schedule that up.

That’s actually a good idea. Just one problem…

If I’m writing at that rate. What’s my world after the next one going to look like?

Ugh. This is the point where I rub my face, shake my head, and remind myself that I have to get the first trilogy off the ground first.

Writer’s Block

Posted on by Aya DeAniege

I was having trouble finishing Contracted due to a few things. The first being that whenever I’d get on a roll, my upstairs neighbour would start blasting music so loud that it sounded like it was coming from my bedroom. It was also rap music just over half the time, then a mix of emo-rock and country the rest of the time.

Now, I’ve got nothing against people who listen to those types of music. Except when they blast it and destroy my chapters. I listen to adult contemporary, or something like that, to write. The tones through the music tend to flow together and work with my writing speed. It also keeps me going when I want to slow down, helps join the thoughts together.

Otherwise, the only time I have a problem with other music listeners is when they force me to listen to it until late hours of the night.

The other issue I was having was that the first and second books dealt with a very narrow scope of time. They were clear written and I knew what happened in every chapter, and in some that didn’t make it into the books (there’s only so much sex I can include before it looks like I don’t care about the rest of their lives) while the third book focuses on about six months of time and was just this event that had nothing to really do with their personal lives, and then the sex that happened.

It was a conflicted bounce back and forth and thanks to interruptions, I think I missed the point where there is a transition or explanation.

Two nights ago Dorian came over—this is important—and I was sitting on my couch with music blasting, trying to get out a sex scene. He shut off my music (because he’s like that) and asked why I was playing two types of music. Then he walked into my bedroom and back out.

My apartment is a small loft style. I can’t afford much, but I scored an amazing apartment thanks to Dorian knowing the landlord. There are no doors for me to close during the day to shut out more of the sound.

“What’s up with that? Is she blasting to cover your music?”

“No, you know I don’t like it that loud. I was just trying to drown her out so that I could finish this sex scene.”

He asked what the scene involved and I responded before my brain caught up to me.

Note to self, never tell Dorian you’re stuck on a sex scene. Let alone give him the details of the scene.

“Well, then, let me give you some inspiration.”

So good, but so wrong.

Because a 1990’s television show was blasting through my ceiling so it was all done to a laugh track and a dialogue that I almost managed to blot out.

Laying in bed afterwards, Dorian can see the tension starting to build in me as the night wore on and the sound didn’t stop. I need quiet. Without it, I get edgy and will even start crying if it goes too far.

“Have you filed a complaint yet?”

“No, I don’t want her to retaliate. People always retaliate.”

“You can file the complaint, or I can go up there right now and retaliate myself.”

I filed the complaint, quoting the lease everyone in the building has to sign, which states after 10PM is quiet time. Not filing the complaint wouldn’t have involved Dorian actually going upstairs, but it probably would have ended in a fight between the two of us and I didn’t want that. He was also right, I should have said something three weeks ago when it reached this volume.

Where I can hear the lyrics or dialogue as if it’s coming from my bedroom, it’s too loud.

Yesterday I sat down to write, meaning to write a short story so that I could publish that and make a few dollars while I worked on the trilogy. Maybe use that money to pay for better covers…

Instead, I finished the Contracted trilogy. This morning I thought, “Hey, what about calling them Contract Taken, Contract Broken, Contract Renewed.” and texted Beth. She thinks I’m crazy and need more sleep.

The first and second books need some alterations to make everything flow properly. The second needs a change that I decided to go with after the fact. The third probably needs extensive re-writes from about the half-way point.

At this moment, the story is on my phone and Beth’s phone. We’re both going to read it and then she’s going to tell me that she doesn’t like it, but maybe it has something to it (Beth doesn’t read erotica or romance because she can’t get into the plot).

I’ve read Beth’s books before and each of those is just under 300 pages. The Contracted trilogy comes to just over 700 pages. Though Beth’s always has the front and back matter attached and I have plans to flesh out the details and the fun stuff on the first two, then re-write the third to include some things that got lost as Kid Rock shouted at me from my bedroom.

This is a lot of work. Why in the hell did I think this was a good idea?

Oh, that’s right. Because I can’t imagine living my life without writing.